Ep. 16 - Pretty Little Liars pt.2 (Flawless) by Sara Shephard

Here, queer, and supplying 12 y/o girl drama! JC follows Aria, Spencer, Emily, and Hannah as they get abused all around this town. JC really lets his Fast and Furious freak flag fly while Chloe is spilling personal lore like a 15 year old with a Jager shot.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:07

I'm sorry, what?

SPEAKER_05 0:16

Quinn a mature. Hello, it's me, Kloe.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

And I'm JC.

SPEAKER_05 0:20

And we're here. We're back. It's a JC episode. We're going to be serving Teen Girl Drama Realness.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

Teen Girl Drama Realness.

SPEAKER_05 0:29

We're going to be serving who's that bitch again? I don't remember her name.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

I don't know who you're talking about.

SPEAKER_05 0:35

We're gonna be serving, um, I think it's the one that has the traumatizing backstory. Oh, wait, that's all of them.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

All of that, yeah, that's all of them. Yeah, it's all of them. Kind of.

SPEAKER_05 0:43

Uh, it's uh Pretty Little Liars part two.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

It's time for Pretty Little Liars, and it's the second one, and it's called Flawless.

SPEAKER_05 0:50

There are 37 Pretty Little Liar books.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

There's 17.

SPEAKER_05 0:55

Might as well be 3,000.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

Might as well be 100,000.

SPEAKER_05 0:59

My rule, this is awful for series. My rule for series.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Ramp it up in four.

SPEAKER_05 1:06

If it's like a continual story, you get three books. You get a trilogy. And if it's like if it's like uh an anthology, I'm I'm a lot nicer. You can have as many as you want at that point in time.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:19

If it's the same story, you get three.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Yeah, like a trilogy. That's like uh that three is a good number humans like.

SPEAKER_05 1:27

Uh actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna pull out some beef here. Uh uh, what's the fucking book I read that everyone reads? Fairies fucking. Uh A Throne of Something and Something.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Oh, yes, yes, yes. This one.

SPEAKER_05 1:39

That one is technically a five-book series, and she's getting ready to come out with like six and seven. Okay. The first three books is one story, uh, and then the next two are a different story, and I'm like, you lost me after the first three. I gave you three books.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

I gave you three books to finish this up. You couldn't do it in three.

SPEAKER_05 1:59

And at that point in time, it's a new series, bitch, in the same world. Move on.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Same character.

SPEAKER_05 2:05

Move on. You can't, you can't. And I feel really bad. There's a romantic book that's called Zodiac Academy.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:12

I don't know enough about it, but I do know there are like twenty books for it. And I'm just like That's a lot. I'm like, you can't get me to start that. That's not happening. People are like, it's the best series ever. I'm like, I would rather, honestly, I think I'd rather read the dictionary than 20 books. You can't wrap it up.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:29

Sounds like someone has a filler plot in there.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

Yeah, you have you would have to.

SPEAKER_05 2:34

Yeah, you have to.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Yeah, they uh oh, this is the book where they go to the beach.

SPEAKER_05 2:38

Another one. There's the beach episode, but yeah. There's a uh a reverse harem series with five dudes and one bitch, because that's how it always is. For sure. And there's six books. I'm like, too much. I know we want one from everyone's perspective. You get three.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

I mean, I say that I did read all six uh vampire academy books.

SPEAKER_05 2:59

But you started to feel it after the third one.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Uh yeah, I guess. See. Yeah, I guess I would say I started to feel it after the third one. Uh well, especially because um the third one, especially, is uh when she really starts laying out like lore, and then you're like, okay, okay, I would like more of this, and then she's like, yeah, there's three more books where bullshit happens.

SPEAKER_05 3:23

This is their beach episode book.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Yeah, oh, well, the beach episode book is the one where she goes to Russia.

SPEAKER_05 3:28

Oh, that's the one where there's like the pregnancy village or something.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

Whatever. Whatever, dude.

SPEAKER_05 3:34

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

It's like in Siberia and it sucks the whole time you're there.

SPEAKER_05 3:37

I should make you read a Sarah J. Moss uh YA book series. I'm gonna make you read Throne of Glass.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

Throne of Glass.

SPEAKER_05 3:44

That's her first book series that's a retelling of Cinderella.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

No, but it's you want like a much softer material in my life.

SPEAKER_05 3:53

JC's been rage-bating me recently, so I'm sure I'm like, I'm gonna pop off in the middle of this episode, and it's gonna sound like it's out of nowhere. And I want you to know this has been building up in this house for literally, I cannot express this enough, maybe five or six days.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

People are gonna listen to it and be like, wow, Chloe really yells at JC for no reason.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

I can't even say on the pod what you say to me to piss me off because it's so fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

That's well, that's not true.

SPEAKER_05 4:21

He looks so guilty right now.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Do you want to know what I've been reading lately?

SPEAKER_05 4:27

I don't really, but like you can tell me, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

Uh I recently read Reconstruction by Eric Foner, um, which is subtitled uh America's Unfinished Revolution. Uh it is an extremely thorough history of the Reconstruction era of American history. Um it's I think one of the best historical texts that I've read. Um he's really good at breaking down like um how like really, really re granular regional politics shapes kind of like really far-reaching um elements of Reconstruction politically. Um, how like Lincoln versus Johnson versus Grant uh create these um varying parts of Reconstruction, um where they you know how their like uh economies, like this the North versus the South's economies, affect how they want to push uh these policies. It's it's super interesting, and I can't recommend it enough as uh as a history book.

SPEAKER_05 5:47

What sources is he citing?

SPEAKER_03 5:49

Uh a lot. The the Okay, so that's that's Vegas follows. The bibli well, I don't remember all of them.

SPEAKER_05 5:54

He's a bad historian.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Well, he's not a bad historian at all. No, you're a bad historian. I'm bad at Rican. You're the bad historian. Well, that's true.

SPEAKER_05 6:00

If you can't regurgitate the knowledge, well, I'm not a I'm not a historian.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Clearly. I'm uh I'm a podcaster.

SPEAKER_05 6:09

No, you're not.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

I am.

SPEAKER_05 6:10

If you were, you'd be better at editing and keeping me on timelines.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

No, no, no, no, no. That's not true.

SPEAKER_05 6:15

Every day I'm like, oh god, I forgot to edit this podcast, and JC goes, like we're being paid. It's like, god damn it.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

Well, that's true. Nobody's paying me to do this. Someone send me a message. My other job pays me to be there.

SPEAKER_05 6:25

Someone send us some money so JC can force me to do my job. My volunteer job.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Yeah, this is volunteer work.

SPEAKER_05 6:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Which means I don't have to show up for work at all. That's actually uh when I uh I had to do community service, court ordered community service. Oh my god!

SPEAKER_05 6:43

Oh my god, JC, you work you're a criminal.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

Kind of a criminal.

SPEAKER_05 6:47

Um That's why JC can't be in your schools.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Oh, no, don't say that. No, I I don't like that.

SPEAKER_05 6:54

That's why JC's not allowed to handle money at jobs.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Oh well that's that is true, yeah. Um, and because I'm bad at it. Um but so one of the ways I tried to get hours for uh that community service is uh I tried to just get it through like goodwill. And goodwill runs a tight ship. They're crazy.

SPEAKER_05 7:15

Um yeah, have you seen how much they're charging for secondhand goods?

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Uh like you show up and they run your orientation like you're paid to be there, but like you're not. That's all volunteer work, and they're like yelling at you about it the whole time. I actually didn't end up even doing my volunteer work at Goodwill because I was like, oh, this is like nuts.

SPEAKER_05 7:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Like I said, they they kind of like run it like it's a job and not like it, not like uh I'm I'm like here voluntarily.

SPEAKER_05 7:50

I did volunteer work at a church where I had a background check.

SPEAKER_03 7:53

That's really funny.

SPEAKER_05 7:55

I was working I was working with babies.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

Oh, well, okay, that makes more sense.

SPEAKER_05 7:58

Yeah, and all of a sudden JC can't be mad at the church anymore. He's like, never mind, it's kind of based. And I did some volunteer work where I taught children in San Francisco about civic responsibilities and government.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Nice.

SPEAKER_05 8:12

It was stupid.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Awesome.

SPEAKER_05 8:14

No, it sucked. I had to get like across the city, and San Francisco's not big, but goddamn, does it take a long time to move across it?

SPEAKER_03 8:21

Mm-mm. That's so true, dude. I that's something I hear all the time about it.

SPEAKER_05 8:24

Jason doesn't know he's never been to California.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

I've never been to California either.

SPEAKER_05 8:27

You can't be a Calie boy because he'd be bullied there.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Oh, well that's well, that is true.

SPEAKER_05 8:31

He'd be like, why do you talk like that?

SPEAKER_03 8:33

What have you been reading?

SPEAKER_05 8:35

Well, so I've been reading this duology. Um uh the first book is called Lord of Bones, the second one is called Queen of Carrion, it's the Death Mound uh duet. I posted about this on uh my Instagram, my bookstagram, actually.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

Your bookstagram.

SPEAKER_05 8:54

As well as on uh a romanticy Discord to talk about it. I I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna be real, I'm gonna open up here. Uh You pitches got depression via uh PTCS C P T S D. Got it.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Sure.

SPEAKER_05 9:09

Um, which means sometimes I get hit with a big case of the sads.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:13

And a big case of the what's the point. Um and sometimes you just gotta read books like this one. This book is Okay. It's it's dark, bro. It's really dark.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 9:27

Uh there's a lot of trigger warnings, there's a lot of like disgusting, I don't know if you'd call it body horror, body horror if it's dead bodies. I think it's just grotesque, disgusting, visceral filled world. And it's like, it's definitely like I could feel myself reading it, and I'm enjoying it right now, but I'm also in like kind of a dark place emotionally. So I'm reading it, I'm like, this is really hitting the spot. But I recognize like if I told anyone that this is hitting the spot, they would be like, Do you like padded walls? Oh, for sure. Because it's it's a lot. Um it it's it's a la in the same kind of vein as like a Liv Xander, the crowboy book, you like to call it.

SPEAKER_03 10:14

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_05 10:16

Yeah, it's a lot of fun. I'm having a great time. She's currently going through the layers of hell to like kill her BF slash maybe fiancé's brothers because they want to like kidnap her and like use her life for their own power. I don't know. I'm having a great time though.

SPEAKER_03 10:38

Yeah, for sure. That'll happen.

SPEAKER_05 10:40

Yeah, there's there's a lot of dark stuff though.

SPEAKER_03 10:44

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_05 10:45

We got some non-con. What? I know. Why I know, no, I know. Like sometimes it makes me real upset, and sometimes I'm like, life is hard.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:56

Bring on the trauma.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

And people should be traumatized in a similar way that I am.

SPEAKER_05 11:01

No, no, no. Okay, calm down, Mr. I want to read the books about genocide.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:08

I read one sad book, like, once every six months, and you're like, hmm, Edgelord. Yeah. And then you're like, anyway, here's this book about sexual assault, and I'm like, wow, it's kind of a lot. You're like, hmm.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Yeah, why are you being such a pussy book? Look, uh, because my books are are easier to digest.

SPEAKER_05 11:24

What? In my books, the good guys always win no matter what. In your books.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

In my books, like, I don't know, like, why does the hero always get to win? Why doesn't the villain win sometimes?

SPEAKER_05 11:41

Lord.

SPEAKER_03 11:42

This is stuff that like like dudes in high school would say to me. No, I'm familiar.

SPEAKER_05 11:46

This is what you would say in high school. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

You're pointing at the mirror because I'm the villain, I play the trombone.

SPEAKER_05 11:57

Everyone knows the villain plays the trombone.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

That's well, that is true.

SPEAKER_05 12:00

It's because of the slide and the spit valve. You spit spit into someone's chair and band.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Huh?

SPEAKER_05 12:07

Yeah. Your friends told me about that, that you were emptying your spit valve into bitches' chairs.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

That makes you the villain! Well, that's just funny.

SPEAKER_05 12:13

That makes me the villain.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Well, I don't know about the villain. It makes me at worse like a nuisance.

SPEAKER_05 12:18

No, it makes me the villain. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

We're talking about pretty little liars, number two, part two, uh, two pretty, two liars. Um, it's flawless.

SPEAKER_05 12:30

Uh, does this one have a plot?

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Define plot.

SPEAKER_05 12:35

Well, let's let's start off.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

Hang on, hang on. Let's start off. Uh can you can you fill our listeners in on what happened in the previous Pretty Little Liars?

SPEAKER_05 12:47

Literally the first episode of the first season, the pilot episode.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Okay, well, can you let me replace fill us in for those who haven't who weren't here for our episode or haven't watched the show.

SPEAKER_05 12:59

Okay, there's Arya.

SPEAKER_03 13:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 13:01

Who's a hipster.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 13:03

Who is being groomed by her teacher slash one-time fling in Iceland? Greenland?

SPEAKER_03 13:09

Huh?

SPEAKER_05 13:09

I don't know where she had a fling with him.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

Um They don't have a fling in Iceland.

SPEAKER_05 13:13

Uh whatever. Mr. Fitz.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's her that's her English teacher.

SPEAKER_05 13:17

Yeah, so she's being groomed by him.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 13:21

There's Hannah.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

I'm starting to feel like you don't remember the one. I might I might um take over for you.

SPEAKER_05 13:28

No, I'm nailing it.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Okay, there's Hannah. What's Hannah's Dilio?

SPEAKER_05 13:31

Hannah's got an eating disorder.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

That's true.

SPEAKER_05 13:34

Okay, next.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

Yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay, who's next?

SPEAKER_05 13:37

Uh, there's the one I don't like.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

You need to be way more specific.

SPEAKER_05 13:43

In the finale, she's the British one. What's her name? Spencer! I hate Spencer. Spencer's too perfect, her family's too great, she just wants to be great at school. She's also being groomed, but she's doing with a lot of authority. Yes, I think. She really thinks she's getting their ass when in reality they're getting her child ass.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 14:02

And she's being groomed by her sister's ex- Sister's.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Not just her. Just her current boyfriend.

SPEAKER_05 14:11

I thought they were engaged.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

I don't think so. I think they're I think they're uh BF and GF. Although during the course of this book, they are broken up for the majority of it.

SPEAKER_05 14:23

And then there's the lesbian whose name is starts with an E. I first thought it was Aaron. That's not correct.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

It's Aaron. No, it's Emily.

SPEAKER_05 14:34

Emily was sleeping with her neighbor.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 14:42

Who's black.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 14:44

And that's an issue for her mom, because her mom is crazy racist.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

Her mom's racist and homophobic.

SPEAKER_05 14:49

And Emily is dating a guy from school.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Who's also homophobic.

SPEAKER_05 14:53

And it's causing a lot of problems. Oh, and she swims, but she doesn't like it.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 14:59

There we go.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Nice.

SPEAKER_05 15:00

Did I miss anything? Oh, wait, wait, wait. The little blonde bitch is disappeared.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

Yes. Okay. Let me let me fill in some gaps for you here. You did a that was pretty good after a shaky start.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

I no, I nailed it.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Um, so you had you have Emily, you got Emily. Uh she's gay and swims and doesn't like it, and is dating her uh black neighbor, who's a girl, and her mom is racist.

SPEAKER_05 15:28

And her boyfriend doesn't like it?

SPEAKER_03 15:29

And her boyfriend also doesn't like it, and he's homophobic, and he's never overtly racist. I do think that would kind of be a hat on a hat.

SPEAKER_05 15:37

I feel like if you're her boyfriend and she's also dating someone that gives you you you should be read like angry for reasons that are not like race or sexual. You should be like, hey, don't cheat.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Just date other girls. This is high school. You can date hell there's I don't want to say it like this, but high school is kind of a great place for just like dating a bunch of people in like relatively quick succession because they have to see you every day.

SPEAKER_05 16:04

I want to say something.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

You just date it's a captive audience.

SPEAKER_05 16:07

It is a captive audience. You wouldn't know though, Mr. No Pussy.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

I wouldn't. Uh Mr. No Pussy over here.

SPEAKER_05 16:12

Okay. I've dated a swimmer.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 16:15

You're a former swimmer.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

I'm I I used to swim.

SPEAKER_05 16:18

I want to say something about people on swim teams.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 16:21

I think it's a 50-50 gay shot. I think if you uh like took a pop shot, like a shotgun blast at a gay like a swim team, half of the people you would hit there would get the gay, and the other half would just be straight. Do you believe this to be true?

SPEAKER_03 16:36

In many ways, sure.

SPEAKER_05 16:38

Oh. What do you mean in many ways?

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Well, you know, you know how in the previous episode we talked about like uh high school bullies don't actually they're not like the the online meme of like my middle school bully knew I was gay before I was. Uh no, they didn't. You're just like they call 100% of people they interact with gay, and they just happen to nail it on yours. They're shotgun blasting the entire student population and just hoping they get one right. Um they they they they weren't like sniping you from five kilometers away.

SPEAKER_05 17:15

So you're saying if I took a shotgun gay blast at the time.

SPEAKER_03 17:19

Gay blast in a swim team. I think you would get I think you would get it would be more than the general student population. It would be a higher proportion of of gay boys specifically.

SPEAKER_05 17:32

I think I would say even gay girls sometimes. And it's not because you're like in bathing suits and like close to people.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Sure.

SPEAKER_05 17:38

I think it's just because like the waist.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

There's something about the water that really calls to the LGBTs.

SPEAKER_05 17:44

Deadass.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

They're getting the mammalian dive response.

SPEAKER_05 17:49

They are. I also I think because you know what it is, is swimmers are shaped a certain way. We're not talking about um Phelps here, because he's shaped like a freak.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 17:58

But like your average like high school swimming dude, wide shoulders, narrow waist, that's hot boy shit.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:04

And the gays love to be hot boys. They do love to be hot boys.

SPEAKER_03 18:08

Anyway, uh we have Hannah.

SPEAKER_05 18:10

We're cutting off my gay conversation.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

We have to cut this off.

SPEAKER_05 18:13

Silence the gays!

SPEAKER_03 18:14

You always you complain that my episodes are too long.

SPEAKER_05 18:17

Wrap it up, keep it fast.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Uh, you have Hannah. Uh Hannah's uh a hot girl at school and has an eating disorder.

SPEAKER_05 18:24

Half me.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

And at the end of the previous book, um got drunk and angry with her boyfriend who has taken a vow of uh a priest style vow of celibacy.

SPEAKER_05 18:35

That's nothing but a challenge, baby girl.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

Uh didn't have sex with her and made her feel bad and ugly, and so she drove his car and crashed it drunk style. Um, nope. I really I really identify with Hannah.

SPEAKER_05 18:48

We have to move for I identify with Hannah, I'm just not a hot girl. Like if Hannah was like ugly girl, that's me. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

I get it. Uh we have Spencer, Spencer's type A. She is uh getting groomed by uh her sister's now ex-boyfriend. Um, over the kind of overarching the entire previous book, we get regular thoughts regarding quote unquote the Jenna thing. We do not get like a sense of what the Jenna thing is, but at the end of the previous book, at their friend Allison's funeral.

SPEAKER_05 19:27

That's who the blonde bitch is. I forgot her name.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

Yeah, her name is Alison. Or Allie for short.

SPEAKER_05 19:32

Allie's a bitch name, too.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

She sorry Ali's. Uh Allie has disappeared now three years ago.

SPEAKER_05 19:38

That she's 100% dead. If you if you it's like a like a 90, like it's a flip. If you after 24 hours, after three years, call it.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

She disappears uh during the summer between seventh and eighth grade.

SPEAKER_05 19:52

100% dead.

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Um Well, they do find her dead body. Um and the previous book ends with her funeral, at which Jenna shows up.

SPEAKER_05 20:06

I think one thing I'm really sad about is that this book can't capture the show's insane funeral fashion choices.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

No, no, no, no, no. They're wearing like they're wearing like insanely short dresses, like short, tight black dresses.

SPEAKER_05 20:22

Yeah, with like the six-inch platform heel that was big at that time.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Yeah, they're wearing like club dresses and fishnets to like their friend's funeral. You're like, oh, you need to you need to wear like a dress that your mom had to like run you out to like a Kohl's for.

SPEAKER_05 20:36

Yeah, you're doing like a club level smoky eye to like mourn your childhood friend.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

Yeah, fucked up.

SPEAKER_05 20:43

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

Um, so right away this book starts in the prologue. We just it just immediately answers the question, what what exactly is the Jenna thing? Um, which is that uh our are girls with a Z.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Ew.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Um, including Allie, she's alive. Um, and they're I guess I guess you're about to understand they're in like sixth grade. Um they're comically young. Sixth grade, by the way, for those not in the United States. Uh that's gonna be 11 to 12.

SPEAKER_05 21:15

I didn't have my first phone at that time.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

Um they're trying on clothes, uh, girl style. Um, like with each other at in uh I believe they're in Allie's room.

SPEAKER_05 21:28

Fashion show, yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Yeah. Um they look outside and uh their neighbor Toby is there.

SPEAKER_05 21:35

How old is Toby?

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Uh he's a year older than them, so I get seventh grade. Which is gonna be uh twelve to thirteen.

SPEAKER_05 21:43

Yeah, that's I'm I'm gonna say something kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 21:46

Not that strange for a twelve to thirteen year old child to like get transfixed by bitches. That just happens sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Should he do that? No. Is it sh is it surprising?

SPEAKER_05 21:57

Not really. At that age, JC was like going. Into a hypnosis state by like just staying like a pair of jeans on a girl with a suggestion of a butt.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

No, that's not true.

SPEAKER_05 22:07

Blacking out at the name Victoria's Secret. He was like foaming in the mall, dressing like the pink.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

Um, so they uh they see they see him outside their window, they chase him across the street, uh, and Allie uh shoots him with a missile.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

No, she she drones dragged you out.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

Yeah, Obama really copying Alison DeLorentis' homework on this one.

SPEAKER_05 22:35

Damn, reheating her nachos type. I have a question.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

Hit me with a woman.

SPEAKER_05 22:38

When you say Toby's outside the window, is he like is this like a ground level? He's standing outside the window, a la, like if your cuck is cold, bring him inside type shit.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

Or is he like in the tree outside?

SPEAKER_05 22:49

Yeah, or is he like hover like what's going on? Like, where is he?

SPEAKER_03 22:53

I can't stress this enough. Don't Sarah Shepherd isn't explaining Toby's like how he's choosing to be a pervert.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Damn, that's devastating.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

To what extent? I mean, because yeah, like you I mean, like you're right. Did he have to like climb a tree for this? Or did he cause cause like if he just got to like walk to a window, that's kind of easy perv style.

SPEAKER_05 23:14

Or if he's just like walking past the house and you happen to have all the lights on. Like in our house, we live in the middle of fucking nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:19

If you have the lights on in this house and you're outside the house.

SPEAKER_03 23:22

Yeah, you can just see directly in.

SPEAKER_05 23:23

You can see every detail.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

Yeah, and I'm naked and my booty is out.

SPEAKER_05 23:26

No, deadass, you'd love to wander this house naked with all the lights on at night, and I'm like, do you want our neighbors to know what your butthole is?

SPEAKER_03 23:31

I do want them to know.

SPEAKER_05 23:32

JC's bending over spreading cheeks for the murders.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Um, so they they chase him. He he runs to his tree house. He has like a sick, cool boy style treehouse in his yard.

SPEAKER_05 23:43

Okay, your parents love you.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

He also has like a box of fireworks at the base of the tree, which is truly not where you want those.

SPEAKER_05 23:52

Oh, yes. I forgot about how I like to leave my fire axe near the front door on the outside. Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 23:57

Allison grabs a firework, and then she tells the other girl she's like, go inside. Uh uh mama's gonna take care of this one.

SPEAKER_06 24:05

13 minutes.

SPEAKER_03 24:06

Uh and then Allison comes back, uh, a bunch of like fire trucks and ambulances roll by, and uh Allison's like, don't ask me what has happened, because I don't want to talk about it. Uh just know that everything is safe, everything is okay, I'm gonna take care of it. Uh, and then they see the tree house is on fire, and somebody is getting pulled into the ambulance, and it's their neighbor, it's Toby's stepsister, Jenna.

SPEAKER_05 24:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 24:36

So in the show, this is different.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Yes. Big facts.

SPEAKER_05 24:39

It's in the garage.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Yeah, it's in the garage, and they like slam like a stink bomb just like directly into her eyes or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

Yeah, I I wanna say.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

They like flashbang her eyes.

SPEAKER_05 24:49

And they're all like there, they all like see what happened.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:52

The way that book Allison is like, I'm gonna give you guys plausible deniability, I think it's actually a really nice thing.

SPEAKER_03 24:59

Yeah, it's it's it's very sweet.

SPEAKER_05 25:00

It's kind of sweet that she's like, I don't want legally, I don't want you guys tied up in this. Like, head back.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Look, I'm gonna look, mama's gonna take care of this. Uh don't worry about it. Don't don't worry about it, my sweet baby birds. And then she kisses all of them on the forehead, and and then she while she kisses them, she says like something mean. She's like, she like kisses Hannah, she's like, You're fat.

SPEAKER_05 25:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

She kisses Emily and she's like, D Slayer.

SPEAKER_05 25:24

She does, they do, yeah. They got that big energy about them. Yeah, I think that's actually really nice of her. I'm gonna go ahead and say this gives her a plus one in my book for book version, Allie. Very nice of her to do that. You can't feel guilty for the Jenna thing if you weren't even like witnessing it.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

They all feel extremely guilty. They we're gonna get into this later. All of them feel so guilty, they experience like a hallucination.

SPEAKER_05 25:48

I felt very guilty in my life. I've never hallucinated, but I guess I'm just a Chad like that.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

You're just a Chad like that, dude. Um, so this is like a hilarious prank. They during this, um, they do think on uh back on like other pranks they've done. Um The pranks range from like going to the local fancy club like club spa and like going in the hot tub without signing in to uh the they they list like three. The like it goes from that to uh they write like a loser in their grade named Mona uh like a bunch of love letters addressed from their principal. Okay, so they're just ruining that guy's life. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 26:36

That's I don't know how that's a prank. It's not really funny.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

Not really a prank, not really funny, and uh kind of just a prank on your principal, I guess.

SPEAKER_05 26:43

Kind of like just pranked, you're on a list. Prank, your job is gone.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Pranked, they're gonna kill you in prison, bitch.

SPEAKER_05 26:52

Dead ass.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

Jesus Christ. Um, so they uh uh after this gets taken away, or uh Jenna gets taken away, um Toby comes clean, he's like, oh, like I fired off the bottle rocket. I'm the one that exploded the treehouse, uh Obama style. Um I thought this was uh I thought this was a wedding.

SPEAKER_05 27:15

Funny joke. Funny joke every time.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Um and uh I I did it. I'm the reason that Jenna will never be able to see with her human eyes again.

SPEAKER_05 27:25

If I was gonna lose any, he said because like I wouldn't mind if it was vision that went, I'll be kinda honest.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Oh yeah?

SPEAKER_05 27:31

Yeah, because then like I am I'm like I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

I feel like I I feel like I look a lot. I mean I feel like I'm looking.

SPEAKER_05 27:38

I could be looking, but like also like think of how much better I could be than you. Like, oh, you sound ugly. Like, oh, I didn't even get you on your looks, and you can't change on the inside, bitch.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

You can't change what your voice sounds like.

SPEAKER_05 27:50

Ugly.

SPEAKER_03 27:53

Um So then we uh we we start. Uh the book opens. Uh our four girls are still at the funeral.

SPEAKER_05 28:00

Um, longest funeral ever.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

They're in 11th grade now, by the way. We jump forward three years.

SPEAKER_05 28:05

Junior year, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

Yeah. Um it's like week two of junior year.

SPEAKER_05 28:09

It's a stupid time to have a funeral.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

I agree. Um hot as hell. They also like I mean, they also like schedule the funeral mad fast. I guess well I mean it takes look, based on recent experience, it takes like five days.

SPEAKER_05 28:24

Yeah, if you're slow with it.

SPEAKER_03 28:25

If you're slow with it. Um but uh so they they all get uh text from A, someone who's been harassing them named A, and uh it's just like I'm still here and I'm I'm gonna oh ooh, I'm gonna get ya. Uh and so they're like, oh my god, you guys are also getting texts and messages from this person, and they all go, yeah. And they're like, okay, is the person like getting you on like secrets that you have? And they're like, yes. And and then they go their separate ways because they not none of them are willing to discuss uh their their relative uh secrets. Um Mona, who's now cool and Hannah's uh bestie, her BFF.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Um, she pulls up to the funeral in a yellow hummer, because she's awesome.

SPEAKER_05 29:19

And it's 2000 and something else.

SPEAKER_03 29:21

It's like 2007. Uh Hummer phrase. And this is so sick. Uh uh, and uh the Mona's here to exposition style reveal that at the end of the week there is a big fancy dance at like a country club in their town. Uh it in my notes, I just constantly call this dance event this book will lead up to, because all of these have to lead up to like a final event. Um, but I believe it's the name for it is Foxy. So like throughout the book, someone will be like, Oh my god, you have a dress for Foxy.

SPEAKER_05 29:58

Stupid, okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:59

I agree. Um Hannah goes home and her dad is there.

SPEAKER_06 30:05

Oh yeah. Parents are divorced.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

Her parents are divorced. Um he's here because Hannah keeps getting in trouble, and it's time for her absentee father to show up and simply do anything.

SPEAKER_05 30:18

Wrong! An absentee father would never show up, even if there was a gun to his head. Why? Because men hate responsibility.

SPEAKER_03 30:25

Men hate responsibility. Well, he's also here, he's like here to like talk about her recent behavior, i.e., the drunk driving and crashing a car.

SPEAKER_05 30:34

Like he hasn't done it a thousand times.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

Big facts. Uh he's also here to reveal to everybody that um he has recently proposed to his uh to his lady friend, um, who has a daughter who's also Hannah's age. We'll meet her later. Uh, and uh he he's here to ask Hannah if she will have dinner with him and his uh new fiance.

SPEAKER_05 30:58

Okay, I'm gonna do a lot of exposition in the challenge of making you go through the plot as fast as physically possible. So this is gonna be fun for me.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 31:06

We were talking recently about a buddy of yours whose parents got divorced when he was like a kid and got remarried and how shitty his stepdad is.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 31:16

I think this is a bold take. Ready for this? Okay. I think if you have children, you're a single parent, you should not be allowed to get remarried while your children are still in the house. Because I've dated a handful of people who have like stepparents, right? Like I dated that one guy whose name will not be disclosed on the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

For sure.

SPEAKER_05 31:30

Who had like three stepmoms. And like his dad just kept like marrying new bitches.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_05 31:36

And it's like, god damn, like what's the point? Also, like when you have multiple kids and you're trying to like merge a family together, like it never fucking works. Because despite what the polyamorous hoes like to say, you cannot love everyone equally. Oh my god. There's always gonna be a little give and take. And so when you're like a dad and like a stepdad, like you're always gonna love one more, and for some reason it's never gonna be your own kid.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

Oh well, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:00

Never.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

Um well they're they're new and shiny.

SPEAKER_05 32:03

Exactly. Um, and so I just I just think you I think men especially. Single men who have children, like all men, should be sent to a prison island. We should resurrect Alcatraz for single fathers.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

They get they get released on their weekend with their child children.

SPEAKER_05 32:21

They get no release.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

They get they get well, they get released because we have to keep the experience of uh going to your divorced dad's uh sing shitty single one-bedroom where you sleep in like on on like an air mattress in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_05 32:34

Oh, y'all had an air mattress in the kitchen?

SPEAKER_03 32:35

No, I didn't have it. My parents are divorced.

SPEAKER_05 32:37

I know. My dad had an apartment. My parents were separated for all of one year. When I was younger, I was in sixth grade. A la uh the 11-year-old.

SPEAKER_03 32:46

Alison DeLorentis.

SPEAKER_05 32:47

Oh, during the bombing of the tree house.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

Treehouse bombing. She car bombed the tree house.

SPEAKER_05 32:53

My father had an apartment. It was a one-bedroom apartment, it was barren all the time.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_05 32:58

The walls were like gray and the carpet was brown, and it was like the thinnest carpet in the world, and he would have us sleep like on the floor of the living room, no air mattress.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_05 33:11

Just like sleeping bags. And he would like try to bribe. I never I never had a good relationship with my father, but he would bribe my brother every time he came over. My brother, at the end of this reconciliation, like a year later, uh, my brother came back from my dad's house with not one, not two, but three different bikes that came all within a 12-month period.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_05 33:32

Never let dads who have been divorced live.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

Uh, so Hannah's uh they they uh her her parents reveal that uh her charges for drunkenly driving and crashing her ex-boyfriend's car have been dropped, but that her ex-boyfriend Sean's parents do want like a reconciliation, and so she needs to like formally apologize, and they also demand they uh Sean's dad runs like a free clinic for burn victims. He's a plastic surgeon apparently, and they want her to like work there for like a a little while.

unknown 34:12

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

Sure, whatever. Um during this during this bit, Hannah internally describes her relationship with her mom as like a boss intern style relationship, and that is the saddest shit I can think of.

SPEAKER_05 34:26

Really? I can think of at least several more.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

Girl, shut up. Um jumping over to Emily.

SPEAKER_05 34:33

Thank God.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

Uh Emily has uh she like comes home or whatever, and she has mad flirty vibes with Maya.

SPEAKER_05 34:42

Uh and then Maya's the black gay neighbor.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

Maya's the black gay neighbor.

SPEAKER_05 34:46

I'm adding in the contacts. Thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 34:49

Uh and then stuff gets stuff gets uh it gets hot and heavy. They're um they're macking down on each other. Um uh it's getting like it's getting hot and heavy in there. Um it's getting it's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. Um and she pulls away and uh Emily pulls away and uh gets uh mad and comfortable vibes. She uh she's like, I I should like I should go. And then she leaves. Um Maya does ask Emily uh to come out to her entire town uh by going with her to uh Foxy.

SPEAKER_05 35:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:26

Um and then uh Emily says kind of like waffles on this. She's like, I'll think about it. May uh lol maybe. Uh and then she gets immediately gets it a text from A that uh just says you are gay. Uh it doesn't actually, um, but that's like the viol every every message Emily gets from A is uh is just like uh gay girl alert.

SPEAKER_05 35:48

Uh A is for ally.

SPEAKER_03 35:51

A is trying to get you should you need to accept you need to own your truth, Queen.

SPEAKER_05 35:55

Beastler positive style. Reclaiming.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

Yeah, yeah. A is just like a a really uh a really overzealous ally. She has the right she has the right spirit, but uh she's going about this entirely the wrong way. Amazing. You can't make Emily come out like that. Uh and then Emily um freaks out about this because she has, to be fair, just been kissing a girl. And she leaves.

SPEAKER_05 36:21

I would bet hand over fifth that maybe probably she just looks gay.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

She just looks gay. She's wearing like, at this moment, she's wearing like cargo pant capris.

SPEAKER_05 36:33

She approaches everyone by going, hey mama.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

She every time she goes to like the barber, she is demanding a fuck-ass bob.

SPEAKER_06 36:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Uh we jump over to Aria. Um Aria uh goes to a bar with her younger brother Mike. Um near the college. Um they somehow don't get carded. Um, and then Mike, once they're inside, they sit down at a table and a waitress is like, what can I get you? And her brother Mike confidently is like, by the way, we're 25. You didn't ask, but I'm telling you. We're 25 years old. Uh I'm telling you, we're 25 years old. Uh, and uh, I want a shot of Jaeger is his order.

SPEAKER_05 37:23

No, what it was 25 months. That's like you get a shot of Jaeger on like your 21st birthday and never again.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

Uh and then while they're here, they see Arya's dad out and about with his former paramour, uh his his former lover of the night, um, one of his students named Meredith.

SPEAKER_05 37:45

Not a sexy name.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

Not a sexy name, who is now a grad student, and uh for some reason has waited sexually for the professor she had a fling with like four years ago.

SPEAKER_05 37:57

That's crazy because college is the number one time to get that shit slammed.

SPEAKER_03 38:00

Yeah, get your shit torn up, bitch. You you can do better than 45-year-old dads.

SPEAKER_05 38:07

College is the only time to make your sexual mistakes, bro. Once you're out in the workforce, you can't be out there throwing ass like all that because you might be their coworker.

SPEAKER_03 38:16

That could be your coworker. You're you're throwing ass on a dude in the night and you're being nasty, you're doing nasty stuff, and then you go in for a job interview and it's that guy, and he's like, I know you're disgusting.

SPEAKER_05 38:27

I I really I really got wild with it like at the end of high school and college, and sometimes I'm still like I didn't do enough.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

You didn't do enough.

SPEAKER_05 38:35

I s I thought too hard about like, no, like I gotta like I can't embarrass myself. I should have embarrassed myself more.

SPEAKER_03 38:42

I I used college to get all my toxic boyfriend behaviors out.

SPEAKER_05 38:47

Did you though? Yes. No, and now I'm gonna be a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

And now I'm uh and now I'm uh perfect.

SPEAKER_05 38:53

He says, rage baiting me.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Um but yeah, I don't know why she's also okay, we talked a we talked like just a second ago about like divorced dads. Um can you imagine being like dating a divorced dad as like a 25-year-old?

SPEAKER_05 39:11

No. No, I couldn't, because you know why? Because I'm trying to get my shit torn by not one, but two, but three different dudes.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

Right now?

SPEAKER_05 39:20

No, girl, I'm not twenty- am I twenty-five?

SPEAKER_03 39:22

You're not twenty-five, too.

SPEAKER_05 39:23

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 39:25

Um anyway, they're they're at like a table and they do that, they're doing that like gross couple thing where they're like holding hands over the table.

SPEAKER_05 39:33

That's disgusting. Holding hands over the table or like canoodling in a restaurant booth. That's akin to like posting those three paragraph long posts on like Instagram about how healthy your relationship is. It's like, I know this is fucked.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

Yeah, just just just just like tell your children you're gross.

SPEAKER_05 39:51

You can't be doing all that. That's how I know your relationship's failing.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

You guys are doing like corny shit. That sucks.

SPEAKER_05 39:58

If you guys aren't side-eyeing the loudest talking couple who are having a fight near you, it's not a healthy relationship.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

I agree.

SPEAKER_05 40:04

Agree.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

Uh Mike uh sees their dad holding hands with Meredith. Takes a bigger shot. Well, he's by this point, he's like ordered more beer. He's done his shot, he's ordered beer, he sees them holding hands and he like flees into the night.

SPEAKER_05 40:19

He's like, Can I get a beer?

unknown 40:21

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

Uh and then he flees into the night uh and and Arya chases after him. Cause she's like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 40:30

I don't like Spencer, but I changed my mind. Arya's my least favorite. She pisses me off.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

In the books, especially, yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_05 40:36

Is she worse in the books than she's in the show?

SPEAKER_03 40:38

Much, much more annoying.

SPEAKER_05 40:39

Okay, because in the show, even I'm like, that one, take that one out first.

SPEAKER_03 40:44

Kill her.

SPEAKER_05 40:45

A should really up the antsy, but killing one of them, preferably that one.

SPEAKER_03 40:49

Yeah, look, yeah, keep texting Emily like lol, you are gay, and then kill Arya with a sniper rifle.

SPEAKER_05 40:57

I don't even I want it worse. I want like an injection she doesn't even notice, and she just, yeah, I don't I don't like that bitch. I find her obnoxious, I find her.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

Um, jumping over to Spencer.

SPEAKER_05 41:11

Uh no.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

Um, Spencer is uh getting this silent treatment from her family.

SPEAKER_05 41:17

Have you ever had that happen to you? No, you haven't. I'm sorry. You have a healthy family, I shouldn't have asked.

SPEAKER_03 41:21

Um I I I got like the one summer when I was in college, I upset my mom uh very profoundly, and uh it took like a while for us to get like a relationship back to a normal point. Um but yeah, she like essentially gave me the silent treatment during this time.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

That's good for you. Thank you. You had one experience. I love that for you.

SPEAKER_03 41:43

Um but uh and I mean like I I really feel like I should put like a fine point on this. Um Spencer is getting the silent treatment and is getting like punished by her family for the crime of getting groomed by an adult man.

SPEAKER_05 42:00

Okay, so it uh okay, logic we're gonna split this thought into two places now. Okay. Logically, the family's stupid.

SPEAKER_00 42:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 42:07

She's a victim. Yes. She uh should be protected.

SPEAKER_00 42:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 42:11

On the other hand, my mom did this to me too. So like So it's nice to see that other people's parents respond to things illogically and without any second thought.

SPEAKER_03 42:20

Um Spencer is like uh during the the Jenna thing, during the fallout of the Jenna thing, Spencer is uh was extremely involved, uh, and we'll get like a lot more reveals of this. But um she feels very um nervous about knowing that Toby is back in town um and is eventually going to assume that he is A and is gonna like really really um tear down on this uh on this theory. Um and then Ren calls her, uh, and he's like, I can't stop thinking about you because I'm a pedophile.

SPEAKER_05 43:03

Ren's like, LOL, are you done with your study hall?

unknown 43:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:07

LOL, did you remember to take lunch today?

SPEAKER_03 43:09

Can you finish up with your precalc home work so you can come uh see me? Uh um, you know, uh gross style. Um and uh there's a funny line where Spencer thinks to herself that Ren is much better for her than her older sister Melissa, and describes their hot make out sesh from the last book as, and this is a quote from the book, an unbelievable 20 minutes of passion.

SPEAKER_05 43:36

Do you remember that Ova car?

SPEAKER_03 43:40

He's like moving his tongue around in a circle disgustingly.

SPEAKER_05 43:43

Yeah, he's just oh um Yes. Okay, so I was a victim.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 43:51

We all know I was a victim.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

Okay, I don't know about we all know.

SPEAKER_05 43:54

Okay, uh uh uh formerly coming out as a victim, uh not to brag or anything, I was 14 during my first. My first kiss was eh, 19.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

Oh, you you you and Spencer are the same?

SPEAKER_05 44:05

Me and Spencer are the same. And like I know that these aren't real people.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 44:11

But because I've seen the show, thanks, JC. All I've been thinking is I would love to strap an adult Spencer down to a chair and be like, tell me how embarrassing that is to you. Cause let me tell you, as someone who had their first case with like an adult man, I'm like, oh my god, that's so fucking cringe.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

No, that's not true. Stop it, it's so cringe.

SPEAKER_05 44:27

I got grooved. That's cringe. I was like, ha, I'm so special. This older man is texting me, and now I'm like, you dumb bitch.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

You dumb bitch. He didn't like you because you were matured. Yeah, that oh, that's a lie.

SPEAKER_04 44:40

You got lied, you got played, girl. He was having a psychotic episode.

SPEAKER_03 44:48

Uh Spencer goes downstairs and her the previous person to groom her, uh Melissa's ex-boyfriend Ian is there. Uh um Melissa can only date pedophiles, I guess.

SPEAKER_05 45:06

Um at that okay, I is it that Spencer's so hot she keeps bringing pedophiles to the yard, a la uh Lolita.

SPEAKER_03 45:18

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 45:19

Or is it that Spencer's sister is just like, ha ha ha, you seem like someone who's really into my youth.

SPEAKER_03 45:27

I d wildly unclear. I wish we had more information. At least at this point. But maybe maybe that'll be something be something that gets like broken down in the next handful of books.

SPEAKER_05 45:36

I don't care about the teen girls. I want to know about the bitches around them.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

Like, what's going on with the adults?

SPEAKER_05 45:41

Yeah, like what is wrong with you people?

SPEAKER_03 45:43

That's so funny. That's always the most boring part of any like teen book.

SPEAKER_05 45:47

You guys are the only ones with like degrees and like fully functally formed lobes. How are you not noticing that, like, haha, my daughter's getting groomed by two different people?

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Uh anyway, uh they're eating dinner and she's like, You guys didn't call me downstairs, and they're like, Oh, did you want to eat?

SPEAKER_04 46:04

Um, stop it, the flashbacks.

SPEAKER_03 46:09

And then uh she's like, I mean, I I do, and they're like, Okay, well, we're mostly done. And there's like, I guess there's like leftovers on the counter.

SPEAKER_05 46:17

Spencer's gonna have crazy expensive therapy bills everything.

SPEAKER_03 46:20

Um, so like while she's like getting dinner, they're like, anyway, we're gonna all go out for ice cream, and Ian is like, uh, Spencer, do you wanna come? And before Spencer can like reconsider her ex-groomer as opposed to her current groomer, uh Spencer's parents are like, uh, she doesn't want ice cream, actually. She can stay home. And then they all leave together. Uh, and Spencer sadly eats dinner uh by herself at the kitchen table.

SPEAKER_05 46:49

Okay, I'm gonna air out some more trauma. Stop doing that. This also could happen to me, and sometimes I hear about this shit from Spencer, and I get that like tummy hurting, like trauma, like reminder. It's like, oh Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 47:04

Oh god.

SPEAKER_05 47:06

Trauma, she's gonna have a crazy amount of SSRIs she needs to try first.

SPEAKER_03 47:11

She's gonna be on SSRIs, she's gonna be in therapy.

SPEAKER_05 47:14

Oh my god, wait till she like she's gonna have to like go every week. It's a whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 47:20

She's gonna go to two weeks and then something will happen. She has to go back down to one.

SPEAKER_05 47:24

They're like, did you know that actually many mental health conditions kind of group together with the CPTSD diagnosis? You're not anxious, you're just traumatized.

SPEAKER_03 47:36

Uh anyway. During this, towards the end of the scene, Spencer is like kind of seething about the fact that her parents are continuing to support their other daughter, Melissa, over her. Kind of understandably. It's pretty fucked up. Um, but among the reasons she lists out for like why they should uh care more about her than her sister, uh, she mentions that she has 370 friends on MySpace, which I just think is a funny, just a generally a funny thing to say.

SPEAKER_05 48:06

How many friends did you have on MySpace?

SPEAKER_03 48:08

I never had MySpace.

SPEAKER_05 48:09

I only had like 50 something. Well I think, but to be fair, like I in airing my trauma here, I don't got any memories. So Yeah, for sure. Maybe I had 50, maybe I had 376, just like Spencer. Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 48:21

Back to Hannah.

SPEAKER_05 48:22

Um I think you mean fatty.

SPEAKER_03 48:25

Well, not anymore. Uh on the inside. She she anorexia'd all that away.

SPEAKER_05 48:30

Good for her. That's hard. It's hard to stick to hard to stick to.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

Um, Hannah shows up for volunteer work at the burn clinic and um almost immediately steals samples of Vikes and Perks. Uh which is so awesome. Okay. A girl after my own heart, I will say.

SPEAKER_05 48:49

Good for her. She's she's on the grind. Personally, not what I would go after, but go off queen.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

Yeah. Um after afterwards, she goes to Virgin Club because she's hoping she's hoping if she can kind of be like, yeah, I'm like totally into this virgin stuff too, then she can get her boyfriend back.

SPEAKER_05 49:07

If you're virginal enough, it loops back around. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

Yeah, it's like kind of it's uh it's like multiplying negatives. A negative times a negative is a positive. A virgin times a virgin is two not virgins.

SPEAKER_05 49:21

Yeah, it's gonna be bad, but you get it.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

Um the the lady running uh V club.

SPEAKER_05 49:28

Um school campus. Surely that virgin club.

SPEAKER_03 49:31

It's at the YMCA. It's a teen virgin club at the YMCA. That's even more psychotic to me. Yeah, my my dad is at Tai Chi class.

SPEAKER_05 49:49

Uh this doesn't make sense, but JC's dad is obsessed, like dedicated to the YMCA, like it's his fucking job.

SPEAKER_03 49:55

My father loves the YMCA.

SPEAKER_05 49:56

Every day.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

Not every day.

SPEAKER_05 49:58

Oh, sorry, he takes a break?

SPEAKER_03 49:59

Uh well, I guess not. Only when he's medically held down and stopped does he take a break. Um The woman running uh Virgin Club says to Sean, uh, sh quote, Sean, can you keep talking about Oh, sorry, that's not a quote. That's I'm doing a joke and this in my.

SPEAKER_05 50:20

Oh, JC's making more editing problems for me.

SPEAKER_03 50:23

I put it in quotes. I'm sorry. Um she says to Sean, uh, just like in that she doesn't know who Hannah is, but she's like, hey Sean, can you continue what you were saying last week about uh what a manipulative slut your bitchy girlfriend is?

SPEAKER_05 50:39

Uh If I had my shit aired out at the YMCA, oh my god, you would I'd be like, serious?

SPEAKER_03 50:48

Uh Hannah, by the way, in this scene, is uh shocked to learn that at Virgin Club, uh it's like they're they're real they don't want you to have any sexual contact. Uh she's for some reason only assumes that like the Virgin Club would be anti-just P and V.

SPEAKER_05 51:06

So that's actually a really interesting issue with American sexual education, right? Is the way in which it defines sexual like acts. Like some people are like, oh, I'm not like I'm still a virgin, like all I did was like butt stuff. And like that's really complicated, right? Like, where does the virginity it's a social construct, but like where's the social line?

SPEAKER_03 51:24

I just think it's funny because m maybe it's because I grew up Catholic and so like all all like sex stuff is uh a sin.

SPEAKER_05 51:31

Um I mean it's a sin, but what what sin makes you lose your virginity?

SPEAKER_03 51:35

What sin makes you lose your virgin? I I I mean like my recollection is it was it was pretty much the same stuff, you know, you just like no like what what makes you lose your virginity is I think mostly cultural, and so it's just P and V stuff.

SPEAKER_05 51:48

So legally, technically, religiously, marrying a virgin.

SPEAKER_03 51:52

Yeah, no, no pussy in vagina.

SPEAKER_05 51:54

Um and so I want you to know I once brought this this theory up that P and V is what causes a loss of virginity, and my um I don't know, lesbian sister, godsister was like, that doesn't make any sense, and it's really homophobic. I want you to know I was 14 at the time.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

So you were a homophobic 14-year-old.

SPEAKER_05 52:12

My 30-year-old godsister was like up my ass, like, so that's really homophobic. It's like I'm a child.

SPEAKER_03 52:19

Um anyway, uh Hannah asks Sean to save her a dance at uh Foxy. Uh and then she leaves. Uh during this scene, she does run into like a another like hot girl from school, and they're and she's like, Oh, like what are you doing here at the YMCA? And uh Hannah tells a lie that will sort of come back later. It's also kind of nothing.

SPEAKER_05 52:42

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 52:44

Emily, we're over to Emily now. Uh she's gay. Uh she's trying to quit swim team because she kind of hates it.

SPEAKER_05 52:50

I get it.

SPEAKER_03 52:51

Um and then uh the coach does the funniest thing possible when you try to quit and is like, ooh, Hannah or Emily, that's so crazy, because um I was actually gonna make you captain of the team.

SPEAKER_05 53:04

That's what my boss did to me when I quit my last job.

SPEAKER_03 53:08

It was gonna make you captain of the swim team.

SPEAKER_05 53:10

I was gonna be made captain of the swim team at work.

SPEAKER_03 53:12

Yeah.

unknown 53:12

Bitch.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Um, and then reveals uh because she's basically like, oh, I was gonna make you captain, and here's a fun fact about being captain. The captain of the swim team, for reasons wildly unexplained throughout the remainder of this book, actually gets free tickets to Foxy.

SPEAKER_05 53:32

How much are the tickets to Foxy?

SPEAKER_03 53:33

Uh well, it's at like a country club, so it's expensive.

SPEAKER_05 53:36

That doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_03 53:37

It's like $200.

SPEAKER_05 53:38

That doesn't prom tickets aren't even that expensive. They're extorting children.

SPEAKER_03 53:44

Yeah, this is like a this is like a well-off town in Pennsylvania.

SPEAKER_05 53:48

Pennsylvania's not Connecticut. It's not that wealthy.

SPEAKER_03 53:51

It's not Connecticut. Alright, devastating on Pennsylvania.

SPEAKER_05 53:54

Pennsylvania's like redneck.

SPEAKER_03 53:56

Uh, and then well not because they're in like the Philly area.

SPEAKER_05 54:00

Girl. I've been to Philly.

SPEAKER_03 54:02

Oh my god. Uh so Emily um unquits. She's like, oh, I guess I won't quit if I get like stuff. Which this is never a good situation to find yourself in.

SPEAKER_05 54:14

It's like when you say you're gonna quit and your job comes back to you and says, we'll give you more money. You can never trust.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

You will well, because like now you're now your coach knows you want to quit. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, I guess, yeah, it is like that, because now your job knows that like you do want to quit. You do want to leave.

SPEAKER_05 54:29

Exactly. You can't.

SPEAKER_03 54:30

And then the coach is like, oh, like now that you want to be captain, uh, check these out. And she breaks out a box of t-shirts, and uh the t-shirts say, uh, gay girls uh slippery when wet. Um and Emily like starts freaking out, and then she realized that she actually hallucinated that, and it says, Fly girl, slippery when wet.

SPEAKER_05 54:53

That doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

Uh and and uh the coach is like like the like the stroke butterfly.

SPEAKER_05 55:00

Ha ha bad. Bad teacher for swim No.

SPEAKER_03 55:04

This is I didn't want to talk about something so I you mentioned I was in swim team. For some reason, swim coaches love being like, hey, um high schoolers, um, what if all of our paraphernalia uh is kind of like implied sexual and innuendo around the term wet? Ours was uh ours was for one year when I was in high school was go in hard, come out wet.

SPEAKER_05 55:30

The one I would just put on the back of my t-shirt is we swim good.

SPEAKER_03 55:33

We swim good.

SPEAKER_05 55:34

That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 55:35

That's so true.

SPEAKER_05 55:35

We swim good.

SPEAKER_03 55:37

I don't know what this is. I don't know what like specific type of brain disease every swim coach has.

SPEAKER_05 55:43

I got this. Close your mind, close your eyes, close your eyes, done. Head empty.

SPEAKER_03 55:46

Yes, done.

SPEAKER_05 55:48

You're someone who volunteers to be the high school swim coach.

SPEAKER_03 55:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 55:53

That's your answer.

SPEAKER_03 55:54

You're right, slippery when wet is hilarious.

SPEAKER_05 55:56

You're like you're like a guy who's like, I want to be around children in bathing suits as often as possible.

SPEAKER_03 56:02

You're right. That's uh uh that's objectively funny. Slippery when wet is a hilarious joke. Uh, and I I can't wait to like high-five all my uh all the girls on the team about it. You know what the lesbians on the team about it.

SPEAKER_05 56:17

You know what seems like the perfect swim coach name? Dave feels particularly swim coach heavy.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

SPEAKER_05 56:23

Yeah. Um JC was a swim coach, he would make disgusting go check because he's just oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 56:28

Uh Emily uh leaves and she runs into her ex-boyfriend Ben.

SPEAKER_05 56:33

Bad name.

SPEAKER_03 56:34

Uh, who I hate.

SPEAKER_05 56:36

Um we hate boys, I agree.

SPEAKER_03 56:38

He calls her the Diesler.

SPEAKER_05 56:40

Um but like in a reclamation way. No. Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 56:44

Like he's like derogatory style. Um and then um he like I'm gonna be very careful in the way I describe this. He bends her over the like water fountain and tries to do a corrective rape.

SPEAKER_05 57:02

Seems like a crazy thing to happen out of high school. Yeah, right? Girl in in view of everyone?

SPEAKER_03 57:07

And then um uh it's like a really upsetting scene. Uh and then uh he gets punched, he gets uh he gets uh struck to the ground. Um and Emily looks up and it's Toby.

SPEAKER_05 57:23

Toby. Toby, no your do-rag is blinding me.

SPEAKER_03 57:30

To reference to the church, you dropped your do-rag crown king. Um back to Arya. Uh Arya's car breaks down and she gets picked up by Sean. That Sean. Hannah's Hannah's Hanner's Hannah. It's Hannah's boyfriend. Uh, and he's like totally perfect for Arya in that.

SPEAKER_05 57:53

Oh, she's a weird version freak too?

SPEAKER_03 57:55

Uh in that, well, he is her age. And that's like That's like pretty ideal.

SPEAKER_05 58:02

Uh yeah, okay, got my no, got my ass there. You're right, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 58:05

Uh and he's like totally not like other boys. Um when he like gets in when she gets in his car, he has like books on the passenger seat, and he's like, oh sorry, let me move those for you. And the books he's reading is uh Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and The Tau of Pooh, um, which is just really funny to me. And Arya's like, wow, you like philosophy too?

SPEAKER_05 58:30

You're just you hate Sean because you are Sean.

SPEAKER_03 58:34

No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_05 58:35

JC's like, me? Uh no.

SPEAKER_03 58:38

I didn't like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and I don't think I would like the Tau of Pooh.

SPEAKER_05 58:44

But he did read it.

SPEAKER_03 58:45

But he did read it, that's true. And I did read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

SPEAKER_05 58:48

Yeah, you did. You s you went and got it. You requested it.

SPEAKER_03 58:52

No, I did. Well, you put it on my Kindle.

SPEAKER_05 58:54

After you requested it.

SPEAKER_03 58:55

After I did request it.

SPEAKER_05 58:56

If you send in a request, it is granted, and by George, you shouldn't be requesting crazy shit on your Kindle.

SPEAKER_03 59:01

That's so true, dude. Um Sean is like, anyway, Aria, like, what's up? How's it going? And Arya just immediately starts telling him about her dad and uh his love of cheating.

SPEAKER_05 59:13

I I would also tell everyone, hell yeah. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:17

Uh she's like, and I I'm like so, so worried my parents are going to get divorced.

SPEAKER_05 59:23

Um and your dad's cheating. It's all emotionally he's already divorced, girl.

SPEAKER_03 59:28

Um, and and Sean is like, well, my parents did get divorced due to my father's infidelity. Um, and my stepmom's great. Which uh don't well you know it's kind of one of these things where it's like, okay, is your stepmom like an appropriate age? Because Arya's stepmom in this situation would be truly like seven years older than her.

SPEAKER_05 59:48

That's like not appropriate, but like could be worse.

SPEAKER_03 59:54

Could be worse. They're the same age. Hey, my stepmom is the same age as me.

SPEAKER_05 59:57

In the town of Groomers, sometimes, yeah. You're just gotta be lucky she's an adult, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:03

Uh Sean tells Arya that uh he's like, I've been going to Virgin Club. Uh, and like uh maybe it's not for me because like they want to do this thing where they like wanna wait till marriage, but like I think for me, I'm just waiting for like the right person. And then he like bites his lip at her uh sexy boy style.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:28

This is big whore energy. This is not this is not virgin, huh?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:35

Yeah, what would the lady running Virgin Club say about this behavior, Sean?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:40

She'd call you a big fat slut.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:41

Yeah, that's right. Who's the manipulative slut now?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:44

Sean. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:45

Uh anyway, uh Arya later runs into Ezra and he's like, I think we should start fresh, and I think that I should just be your English teacher and not your groomer.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:55

He lies to himself.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:58

Um Spencer gets a B minus on an econ quiz and spirals for several chapters.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:07

Um Econ's an acceptable one to get a B minus in and just all made up.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:12

Um her teacher does imply that she should seek extra help for one B minus. Which feels crazy to me. I'm like, what the hell? For a B minus? In a public school, you should be like, yeah, like a B minus is like uh like oh you should probably study harder for the next quiz, but like overall fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:35

Overall, like don't worry about it. You know, like shake this one off. Shake it off, shake it off, ooh-woo. Uh Ren calls her again.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:45

Good for him. Okay, what's the groomer want?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:47

Um, and he's like, Can we meet? And she's like, I don't think that's a good idea. My family's been like really harshly punishing me.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:56

You can just call it abusing you.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:58

They're they're they're they're socially punishing me already, and I don't think it would be I think that would get like a lot worse if they knew that we were like still seeing each other.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:07

Yeah, no duh.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

And he's like, Oh, like I just I'm I can't stop thinking about you.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:11

Girl, trust, go hang out with him in his shitty 1990s Toyota Corolla behind the K mark. He'll prove you how much he loves you because he's gonna play you his favorite metal music as he's smoking in his car with you.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:23

Okay, well that sounds awesome. So I don't know what you're complaining about.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:26

I know someone who would be perfect for you then.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:30

Um so she's like, maybe what if we like what if we like take a pause on this? What if we take a a little break for like two months, and then like we'll we'll like reconvene and like kind of like determine where the relationship should go. And Ren just straight up says, I don't think I can wait that long.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:49

He needs teen pussy.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:51

I I need your young flesh.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:53

He's just a witch trying to consume your soul at this point in time.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:57

Uh anyway, uh Spencer's been like so stressed out that she goes into uh uh her favorite bookstore in town and um gets like a bunch of books for econ class and some for her own and uh personal enjoyment. Uh and then she goes to check out and her card gets declined. And she's like, oh my god, my parents. It's like the card that she has to make like school purchases and stuff, and they've uh cancelled the card.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:24

That's amazing. Your parents are crazy abusing you. This is gonna really be great to talk about in therapy.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:29

And so she's like, she gets like so upset about this that she calls Ren and she's like, you know what? I'll be right there.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:38

That's the interesting thing about parental abuse, right? Like they think it's gonna do one thing, and all it does is make you look for love in more dangerous and unstable places, and then you get married to some guy who won't stop bullying you for God knows what reason. You're just out here being a victim of rage bait. Girl, shut up.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

Shut your bitch ass up, dude. Okay, so I just over to Hannah. Uh Hannah's shopping with Mona. They're going dress shopping for Foxy because Mona has a date. Um, she's she's uh going to Foxy with Nol Khan's brother. Uh Nolkan. Kol Khan. Uh I don't remember what his name is. We're gonna call him Colcon. Who cares? He doesn't show up in this book. Nolkan barely shows up in this book, which is a real shame because he's the best. Um Hannah Hannah doesn't have a date to Foxy because she's hoping that Sean will go and then they'll just like meet up there and they can rekindle their beautiful high school relationship.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:39

High school relationships are bullshit. This is so stressful.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:42

Um at one point they run into the rival hot girls uh that saw Hannah at the Y, and they're like, oh my god, Hannah, I heard that like you and Sean are totes or to totes McGotes broken up, and Hannah's like, okay, like maybe. And uh Mona goes, Well, it doesn't even matter because I think Sean's like gay. Uh, and the rival girls are like, I could turn him sexually.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:10

I no, I remember those conversations. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:12

Did you have those? I heard a lot of those, like who did you think you were turning?

SPEAKER_05 1:05:17

You know I had a bunch of crushes on gay guys. I didn't recognize anyone was gay. I was like, they they're nice to me because they like me. I girl, the trauma.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:26

Um, while they're at the mall, Hannah gets a call from her mom, and her mom's like, you need to get home right now. And then Hannah and Mona have like a an awkward conversation because Hannah, it turns out when her parents got divorced and her dad left, uh, Hannah told Mona that her dad died.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:44

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:45

Which is awesome. But she's like, Yeah, I have to like go home because my dad is here. And Mona's like, Is he not like dead? And she's like, I I can't talk about this. I can't get into this with you right now. And so she leaves, but like it does like upset Mona in the moment. That like this is like a this is like a pretty pretty huge lie.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:05

Some people just love to lie. Surely Mona knows someone who claims that like their aunt is like some famous bitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:12

Everyone knows everybody knows someone like that in high school.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:15

And it's Hannah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:16

And it's Hannah. Um her dad is there, and they have an awkward ass conversation. Uh he he does the thing that like dads do when they kind of don't know you, or they just describe what you were like the last time they remember like talking to you. And so he's like, when you were like seven, you were you were like so nice.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:36

He's gonna send crazy outdated photos with no subject line or text to her emails in a few years.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:43

Yeah, exactly. Um and uh he's like, by the way, me and my uh fiance, we're gonna go on a trip to Spain. We're we're gonna go on a trip, and uh you should come with us because my step my future stepdaughter is gonna be, she's like basically feel fluent and like Castilian Spanish, and so she's gonna be in Spain doing cool stuff, and you can like come with us to like the shittiest beach on this coast. Yeah, why don't you come with us to Ocean City, Hannah? Why don't you come with us to Virginia Beach? You can we can do nothing but buy tank tops that say, like, do you even lift, bro? Um he invites her to uh dinner, uh, but it's on the same day with his fiancee and uh stepdaughter.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:34

I just don't like dads.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:36

That's so true, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:37

I okay, JC. Is my hatred of dads based as fuck, or is it trauma?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:45

Okay, so that was an answer.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:47

It's kind of both.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:49

I just think dads are weird.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:50

Dads are so weird, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:52

I think dads are useless.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:53

And also useless. As a daughter, when a dad's like Well, Hannah's dad is especially useless.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:58

Stop trying to bring us back in the plot.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:01

We're having a deep conversation about me. This I'm not your therapist. I'm here talking about it.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:07

We've illegally tied a knot that says you're my therapist, so I want to I'll let you move on.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:13

Bitch. I'm nodding in you as your therapist. Anyway, uh the dinner he's inviting Hannah to is on the same day as Foxy, and Hannah has to like decide does she want to like try to establish a relationship with her father, or does she want to go to her uh dance and uh try to get back with her high school boyfriend? And frankly, neither are good options. Stay home.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:42

I'm sure that there's something much better.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:44

Watch TV. It's 2007. There's awesome stuff on TV right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:52

Uh she gets a text from A saying that if she doesn't do what A says, then A will tell Hannah's dad specifically about her culpability in blinding Jenna.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:06

Of what? Being on the same block as her isn't happening?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:11

Being nearby.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:12

I'm sorry I was two houses down when this bitch got blind. So, also, also, also. And also, I don't think a divorced father He doesn't care. One, he wouldn't care. Two, uh, don't throw stones in your glass ass house. I blinded a bitch. What did you do to your mic or your former wife?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:30

That's so true. Uh Emily rides her bike home and she falls off, and then Toby gives her a ride home and they like bond for a while.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:41

Toby.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:42

Uh uh Toby kisses Emily.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:44

Toby!

SPEAKER_03 1:09:46

Emily feels emotionally complicated about this. Uh, and then Toby is like, hey, like, do you want to go to Foxy with me? And she decides to say yes for camouflage and compet purposes. She's like, Well, nobody will know I'm gay if I go with Toby. Uh uh social pariah in our town.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:04

Toby! Stop it.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:08

Stop it. Um. Aria calls Sean and she's like, hey, like, what's up? Um I've I've like been thinking about our conversation about philosophical books, and you should totally read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.

unknown 1:10:27

No!

SPEAKER_03 1:10:27

Uh, because I think Aria, Aria, you're going to grow out of this phase, but I need you to do it quicker.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:35

Aria, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:37

Um, she describes Ayn Rand as super complex but readable.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:40

Um wrong.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:41

Incorrect. Just simply not true.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:46

Complex in the way that it makes you want to die.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:49

Uh Aria goes downstairs to have breakfast with her family, and A texts to say that uh Aria needs to tell her mom about her dad's affair uh by midnight after Foxy, or else. Um, I have in my notes that says A is just a girl's girl.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:08

No, deadass though. Like, okay, like is it her responsibility to tell her mom, like, no, but also like dads ain't shit. Get that man out of there.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:15

Yeah, get your dad. What is your dad doing for your family right now?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:18

Make him legally required to do something for your family.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:20

Yeah, Arya, so like you're imagining like a potential experience with your father, but like really what he's doing is like throughout this book, the this entire book, uh her dad keeps being like, Oh, like I have to work late as an English college professor, which is nothing. Uh, no, you don't.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:41

What are you doing in the office, girl?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:43

Um, but so like d like actually what he's going to do is he's going to go um cheesy style cheat uh on his wife.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:52

Not cheesy style cheat.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:53

Yeah, he's like cheese, he's like cheesing on this on this bitch. We're gonna get to this later. It's awful. But I mean, like, he's doing shit, he's like holding hands at a restaurant.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:04

Yeah, that's too much.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:05

Yeah, right. You're like, you're gross. You're being gross in public.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:08

Honestly, the amount of love you feel for this child is disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:13

Um Arya immediately, like, takes to the internet to internet stalk Meredith. Um, she finds her on Friendster. Um, just fa the the Facebook that they Well, no, because she even mentioned she's like, I also even found her on this website called Facebook, which is really, really, really funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:37

Just to remind you, this book was written in like 2006.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:41

No, I I pick up on those vibes.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:43

Everything these people do.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:45

They're like, by the way, it's oh six.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:47

Yeah, no, I'm aware.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:49

Um, Aria goes to Meredith uh, I guess for like work, uh had like teaches several yoga classes. Um Arya goes to the yoga class.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:00

That's kind of gangster, but I mean, like if you're gonna have an affair, if you're gonna be Theather Woman, you have to like teach Pilates or yoga. Everyone knows that.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:11

That's so true. Yeah, you have if you're gonna be like a if you're gonna be like a homewrecker, you do have to like you have to have like one of those types of jobs.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:19

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:20

You have to have like a hot woman job. You have you teach a spin class.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:26

You teach yoga.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:27

You have to. It's like it's you gotta. You can't be a weirdo about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:31

Librarian.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:32

Librarian's not hot.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:34

What? God, she's snoring so loud.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:44

Oh, she wake now. We fine, we good.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:46

Uh we jump to Spencer. Uh Spencer uh spent the night at Ren's place. Um, they didn't have sex.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:56

Doubt! Someone lied in the book.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:59

Uh they just yeah. Spencer is lying to Sarah Shepard. Uh they just fell asleep in one another's arms, uh, disgusting style. Uh they Okay, uh-uh.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:10

No, no, no. You f okay. I'm gonna say something bold.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:15

Falling asleep holding each other? Disgusting freak shit. You might as well be snuggling on the same side of the booth.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:21

Yeah, you're just sweaty.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:22

Sometimes you feel like a little too lovey-dovey and you wanna like spoon me as I fall, like, try to fall asleep. Oh, your head weighs approximately 7,000 pounds. That's simply not. So you put your head on top of my head and I'm like, I'm losing brain cells. Like you're cra you're your pressure like crushing me. Oh thank god, I gotta move too. Your socks are run through with fuck!

SPEAKER_02 1:14:50

Shut up.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:55

Come on, Grandpa. Got them hobo ass socks.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:59

Shut up. There we go. Anyway, uh, so they they wake up and then they uh and then they fuck. Uh pedophile style.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:07

Wait, is this her losing her virginity or is she fucked before?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:10

Oh, she's losing that he's she's losing that virginity. Serving sir serving loss of virginity.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:19

Serving P and V realness.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:22

Um by the way, I don't want to like get too far into this because it makes me like a little uncomfortable to discuss. Uh-huh. But I do want to mention she loses her virginity girl on top. Which just feels fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:39

No, that's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:40

Is it? Why wouldn't it be? You're gonna lose your virginity, you gotta do all the work.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:46

Yeah, but then like at least you can control it. Yeah, you don't know what you're doing. Yeah, well it's he so so?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:53

What do you mean so?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:54

So? Yeah, no, I think that's that's m that's um uh that's empowering. That's girl, that's girl but girl what?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:01

No, it's not. You said keeping this can't be empowering. He's like he's a doctor. He's a full-grown adult man.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:08

I mean, yeah. Hello.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:10

Oh my god. Uh uh Spencer is uh they Spencer like has to go like to school.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:19

Yeah, she's gotta like make sure she's on time for English.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:22

Yeah, she's yeah, she's gotta get to algebra class. Um, and she is internally extremely proud of herself for getting with Ren when um her like sister couldn't even like stay with him.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:37

I understand why you feel this way, ma'am, but I also want you to know that it's actually not girl boss or cool for you to do this. It just makes me sad for you. But I understand why you feel this way. But I want you to know in a few years you will not.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:49

Yeah, you're gonna be like extremely embarrassed to admit this. Um she goes home to change into new clothes and Melissa like runs into her, and she Melissa's like, is that a hickey? And she's like, um, LOL No? And Melissa's like, oh my god, do you have like a boyfriend? And she's Yeah, yours! And she's like, uh no. Uh but then she gets a call, uh, and it's Andrew from school, um, who's like the he's like the salutatorian. He's like number two in their class.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:28

Uh he and he and Spencer in the first book have like um kind of flirty competitive vibes. Right. And Andrew is like, will you go to will you go to the dance with me? And Spencer uh is playing like 4D chess, and she's like, if I go to the dance with him, then Melissa won't think that I am uh losing my virginity to her boyfriend. Uh so she says yes, uh, in order to throw everybody off of her trail so she can keep sneaking off to Philadelphia to have sex with a grown adult man.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:02

I mean, yeah, but like No. Good for her, but bad for her. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:08

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:10

It's complex.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:11

Okay. Hannah is at a school soccer game, and she gets a message from A that tells her to tell the rival hot girls about her eating disorder and what really happened the night of Nulkan's party. Uh, so she has to admit she's like, oh, like I eat like nasty stuff and then I make myself throw up. And and and then also, um, I tried to have sex with Sean and he rejected me, and it made me feel so ugly and disgusting that I got sloppy style drunk and I crashed his car, and then she runs away.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:51

Uh Okay, but like, what is it that A has? Like, why why are these bitches doing anything?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:00

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_05 1:19:01

Like, surely everything they're saying is like not.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:08

Sorry, I'm just imagining a scenario where where Hannah says this and then says, like, whispers like L O L J K.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:16

I they're doing all this because like A is threatening them with secrets.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:20

But they're just saying their own secrets!

SPEAKER_03 1:19:22

Yeah. Surely I mean, like, it is definitely well, cause well, the secret that A is using now, right? Now that we know what the Jenna thing is, uh-huh, is like I know that you were kind of involved in blinding a girl, and I will tell the people in your lives and it will make them extraordinarily disappointed in you is I is like kind of like the general to me. This is probably one of the more realistic in the show, like A's threats get so like ridiculous that I can't believe them. But like the thought of like my mom knowing something about me that would make her disappointed when I was a teenager was excruciating.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:08

Yeah, but like all I keep thinking is they didn't have anything to do with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:12

Well ye well, yeah. Well, sort of. They like knew what happened, they knew it wasn't Toby and didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:20

So?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:22

Not the so.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:23

So? That's Toby's job to deal with it, not theirs.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:26

Well, they like know that Toby that like Toby didn't do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:30

Toby's at high school kissing lesbians. He's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:34

Yeah, he's doing fine now.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:35

And Toby's fine!

SPEAKER_03 1:20:36

He does at one point tell Emily that like uh because she like a po she like apologizes that he like went away and he was and he's like, oh like I mean like it was like hard for a while, but like it's fine. I do just like wanna get out of this town.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:51

Who wouldn't? Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:53

Yeah Groomer Central.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:55

Groomer Central?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:56

Um anyway, Hannah runs into Mona while she runs away from admitting this to the rival hot girls, and Mona's like, oh, I'm gonna go after the mall, or I'm gonna go to the mall after school, and Hannah's like, okay, like are we going? We we didn't schedule anything, and Mona's like, No, I'm going with the rival hot girls.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:14

Mona, you messy little bitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:17

Well, because the rival hot girls have dates to Foxy, but Hannah does No, I get it.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:24

No, I like I totally get Hey, look, I could never hang out with the Hot Girls rival or friendly, and so I get it. Good for her. Honestly, since they were bullying Mona, this is a big come up for her.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:34

This is a big come up for her.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:35

Good for her. Good for her, and good for her.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:37

I agree. Uh over to Emily. Um, a messages Emily to be like, lol, you are gay, and also maybe I have the photos of you being gay at Nil Khan's party in the in the previous book because uh Emily got hot and heavy, gay lesbian style in a photo booth with Maya.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:59

Okay, and like what, you're gonna post revenge board? It's still not it's still again, just make you look like a dick.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:07

Yeah, also uh I mean Emily's like extremely nervous about this because she is gay. Yes. Um maybe it's like my adult brain, but I'm like, I would just like message back like, okay, do it then. And then like if you don't want to come out, just like tell people who bring it up to you, be like, yeah, I was like experimenting.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:30

That's the thing, right? Is like you can lie.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:37

Yeah, you can just tell, you can just tell lies.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:39

Look, you can also do this crazy overpowered move, right? This is the most overpowered move in the world.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:44

So OP.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:45

Okay. Accuse me of lesbian photos.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:48

You're gay. I have photos of you being gay.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:50

That's literally not me. That's lit that's literally not me.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:55

That's not me. That's a different that's a different girl with a different black girl.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:00

That's literally not me. Well, it looks just like you. Okay, so you believe everything you see?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:04

That's AI.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:05

I'm sorry. You think Yoda's real?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:07

I mean, let's see. I'm trying to remember.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:10

2006 there was crappy, crappy.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:13

There was definitely Photoshop, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:23:14

There was 100% photo. Shitty, but it was there.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:16

That's Photoshop.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:17

Oh, sorry. You you guys don't know about Photoshop?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:20

You don't know about Deep. The CIA does that all the time.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:22

Liter Literally, you guys Okay, you guys believe that? That's really embarrassing.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:27

So then Emily, like, approaches Maya and she's like, hey, do you remember the um all the photos that came out of the photo booth when we were being gay at the party last week?

SPEAKER_05 1:23:38

When we were being gay.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:39

Um, and Maya's like, oh, when we're gang being gay at the party. No, I haven't showed anybody. Not unless you want me to. And Emily's like, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:48

Maya, you are dreaming too big.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:49

Maya, you gotta limit yourself. Emily's like, no, no, no, no, let's let's continue to keep those on the down low. Um Maya again asks uh Emily to Foxy, and uh Emily says she wants to ask Toby because then nobody will think she's gay, and this makes Maya extremely upset. Du duh. And uh and and Maya uh flees. Maya runs away.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:13

Duh. Hello. Hey, girl, you can't drag someone else into the closet with you. It's not okay, it's not cool, it's not hot shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:21

Um, over to Arya, she's uh still talking to Sean, and he asks her out to Foxy.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:28

Um That's that's not cool. I guess they're not friends, right? Like the girls aren't friends still.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:35

Um, so that's uh that we'll get into that more. That this this turns into a confrontation later.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:41

It should. It should turn into a confrontation later.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:44

Is it to me this is functionally nothing?

SPEAKER_05 1:24:46

No, you can't. Exes are off limits. Yeah, to someone you're not hanging out with anymore. Totally on limits. Fuck them. What? If you're not hanging out, you can fuck them, but if you're besties, you cannot. You're not besties. Then it's fine. Yeah, do what you want.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:59

Yeah. Who cares? You're not friends. Yeah. You're not friends right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:04

They like the o the last time Arya and Hannah spoke was at Allison's funeral, just for both of them to be like, no, I don't really want to reveal my secrets to you.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:14

Deadass, do whatever you want, go. Yeah, dead ass. No, no, that's all it's all.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:18

Take your homies BF.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:19

All kosher.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:20

Um, and then Shauna's like, she she like talks more about like going to Meredith's yoga class, and Shauna's like, Do you want to go confront her right now with me? And Arya's like, yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:32

Arya! Aria.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:36

Uh, by the way, they've been drinking.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:38

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:39

Um, so she shows up at Meredith's like apartment or townhouse or whatever, a little drunk, and she like gave Meredith a fake name when they met at yoga class earlier. Oh my god. And so Meredith is like, oh my god, um, whatever fake name. Oh my god, Katie. And Arya is like, uh, well, no, my name is actually Aria Montgomery. I'm Byron Montgomery's daughter. Uh please leave my family alone. My parents have a beautiful marriage actually, girl. And I want you to let it alone. You're kind of fucking up my family, and I need you to stop. And Meredith says, no. Meredith's like, no, I will not stop fucking up your family. And actually, I can't, because we're in love corny style.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:27

Okay, so I am on her side. Look, if a child of someone I'm fucking comes up to me and is like, I want you to stop sleeping with my dad, I'd be like, Bet, you should take that up with him.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:41

Yeah, talk to him about this.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:43

Hey, guess whose problem this isn't? Mine. Yeah, no, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:49

Um so Spencer uh is kind of slipping in school. She's kind of having a hard time because she has a fake boyfriend that she has to like hang out with. Um, with Andrew. Uh she has a sexual relationship with Ren, and he lives in the city, so she has to like take the train to go see him.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:17

I'm sorry, he's not taking the train to come see her. I guess. You know what? You know what? You're right. You shouldn't shouldn't bring your pedophilia to the bitch's hometown.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:25

Yeah, don't, yeah. Um not with Ren, but I understand the logic. Yeah, bring bring the underage girls to you. Don't go to them.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:33

But like, you could at least go pick him up.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:35

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:36

My My Groomer picked me up.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:39

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:41

I I never had to go to my groomer. My groomer came to me and brought me. Um They hate to see me coming.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:47

Her dad uh like calls her out of her room and he's like, I heard you're dating someone your age, um, for uh as a reward for that behavior, I got you cinnamon rolls.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:00

It's kind of cute.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:01

That's uh that's really funny. It's kinda cute, yeah. Spencer's like, oh, like this is really nice. Is mom gonna be nice to me now? And her dad is like, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:09

Hey, don't ask for much.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:11

He's like, no, give her time.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:15

I love the way moms be. They are just kind of like mean sometimes. For what reason?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:22

And for what reason? Um Ren calls and he's like, hey, can you can you come to Philly for me? Um I'm not picking you up. You need to take the train.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:33

Again! If he don't If he's not spending gas money, don't do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:38

Um and then uh she mentions he's like, also we should do something on this day, and it's the day of the dance, and she's like, actually, I'm going to the dance, and he's like, Do you want me to go with you? No, Luzon. And she's like, Well, no, I have a date, and he's like, What do you mean you have a date? And she's like, she has to like explain she has to like detail by detail explain the plan to him because he's stupid.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:02

He's a doctor that's stupid.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:04

He's a doctor that's stupid. Um, yeah, she has to like explain why it wouldn't be ideal for this adult man to take her to a high school dance. An adult man who has already been caught making out with her by her family. He's like, Yeah, can I come to your hometown and uh be officially seen in public with you in a romantic setting?

SPEAKER_05 1:29:25

I do love when adult men go to proms. I'm trying to think. My school had a rule my senior year that you couldn't be older than 21.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:34

Yeah, it sounds like that rule was made for you. No, because you're like, Chloe, you cannot bring any adult men.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:42

Let me do some math real quick. I went to my high school best friend's senior prom. She was a year older than me. So I graduated when I was s how old was I when I graduated? 17? Yes. So I would have been like 16. Uh he was 21. I was there when a 21-year-old was there. Okay, so like, yeah, no, that's fine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:06

Gross.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:07

Shut up, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:08

Uh anyway, Spencer goes back upstairs and she realizes that all of her sister's papers from high school are on their family computer. And so she just grabs one out of the computer's files and puts her name on it and submits that.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:26

Are you stupid?

unknown 1:30:27

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:28

And uh just decides to submit that. Um by the way, this um academic cheating never comes back in this book. I assume that'll be like a future books uh like plot line. Uh, but for the remainder of this book, the cheating never comes back.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:46

That's so stupid.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:48

Um It is the day of uh Foxy. It's Foxy Day.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:54

Not Foxy Day.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:55

Um, it's it's dance day. Um Hannah is not at the dance because she's at dinner with her dad and her stepmom and her new stepsister. Um Hannah's so mad that her stepsister Kate is here. Um in internally, she's like uh Kate is uh mega perfect, and she probably never trips in high heels. Um she's like so smart, and not only is she like basically conversational in Spanish, but she's also like basically fluent in French, and they're at a French restaurant, and so her dad and uh her new her stepmom to be are like, Kate, will you translate the menu for us?

SPEAKER_05 1:31:43

You can't see the dead look I'm giving JC, but that's so that's so obnoxious.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:48

Also, what do you mean translate the menu? It's a it's a French restaurant in the United States of America. That like the names of the dishes are in French, but like they're gonna do that thing where like directly under it they explain it for the for the jug hooters.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:03

I want you to know I was at a French restaurant recently with some coworkers and they were like, what is this thing? And I was like, cheese? They're like, what does this say? They didn't know fromage? No, they were like, What does this say? Um like it just says it's good.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:17

Um Hannah's dad uh is like, oh well, like Hannah does stuff too. Uh she she went to virgin club.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:27

Why are you outing her as a virgin? Dad, that's rude.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:30

Uh which uh Hannah like makes Hannah freak out and she runs to the bathroom and uh she she's like on the verge of tears. She's like, I should throw up right now. Um and then A texts her and is like, by the way, LOL, Sean is at the dance and he's here with another girl. Um, and then Kate comes into the bathroom and she's like, Oh my god, Hannah, Loki, your dad is mega embarrassing. Um, and then Hannah's like, okay, here's like the Dilio. My ex-boyfriend is at this event right now, and he's there with another girl, and I'm trying to get back with him, and so I need to get there P Ronto. Um, can you like cover for me with my dumb bitch embarrassing dad? And while she's doing this, her purse is open, and Kate sees the perks and vikes that she stole earlier at the clinic, and she's like, I will 100% cover for you, Slay Queen, if you give me those pills. And she's like, Oh yeah, sure. And so she does, and then uh leaves.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:41

The perks and vikes where like when you pick up something in a game, they're like, This will come in handy later.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:47

Yeah, exactly. Um and and it's dance time for Emily. Um, she's there with Toby. Um, but she she like sees Toby and he's in like his tux or suit or whatever they wear to this event. Um, I don't remember, and I don't care to look it up.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:02

I get it.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:03

Um Toby uh uh looks nice, but she's like, he's not flipping my insides like it does to see Maya in in like pajama pants and like a stained t-shirt. Um he's not really doing much for her. Um and and she's like, I kind of wish I was here with Maya, uh, because maybe I am gay and also a lesbian.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:27

Maybe. Maybe yeah, girl, you're gay and a lesbian. You're gay you're gay lesbian coded.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:33

Um anyway, they go in. For some reason, this dance event has like a tarot card reader, and the tarot card reader is like a they never actually say how old she is, but I imagine she's like a middle-aged woo-woo white woman. But she like grabs Emily and she's like, something life-changing will happen to you tonight. Um, but seemingly this event is like 65% teen girls. So like she I'm I kind of imagine she's just saying that to it's kind of like the the the high the middle school bully you are gay. She's just saying that to everybody because like they're they're all teen girls and they have life experiences of of of you they have like a shot glass full of life experiences. So, like, yeah, this will probably be like an extremely memorable night, regardless.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:21

That is very funny. You're like the old lady is also taking shotgun blast, but instead of you're gay, it's your life will change. I hope so.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:28

Yeah, but so I imagine by the time she says this to Emily, it's like the 87th time she said this.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:34

Um, like she's not even doing like a cold read. She's just saying it to teen girls. Um anyway, Ben is also there. Uh he sucks, and I hate him. And he decides to uh try to corrective rape Emily again. Again? Again, too to corrective to rape. Um, and uh it's mega upsetting to read. Uh, and then Emily kicks him in the dick and balls. Uh kicks him in the dick and also his balls and flees. And Maya's like, I saw that whole thing, and um they kiss. Uh, and then Maya says that she'll wait for Emily to be ready to um, you know, maybe, maybe like talk more. Girl. Uh Arya is also at the dance, and she's doing the quirky girl bit, where she's like, No, no, Sean, like, you wouldn't want to be with me because I'm such like a bother, and you're gonna hate me because I've only been talking about my parents' impending divorce.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:35

Okay, so I feel a little called out here because uh I'm pretty sure you read Okay, JC, I love you a lot.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:42

I love you.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:43

We have a we have a safe relationship.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:45

We don't like to think so.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:46

We don't lie to each other.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:47

No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:48

When you read Arya, do you think of me?

SPEAKER_03 1:36:50

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:51

Thank god, oh my god, that was so scary.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:55

No, but she's being like extremely teen girl and dramatic about this.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:00

Yeah, of course. Um, she's a teen girl.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:02

Uh Sean doesn't care about that shit, and he um macks down on her.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:06

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:07

Uh Spencer is also at the dance, and she's here with Andrew. Um, and she's kind of like, you know, he's distracted my parents, but like I don't know how to now get rid of him. Um he keeps begging Spencer to do karaoke with him, and she keeps being like, I said no. Which is very funny to me. Amazing. She's like be she's like negging him at this party, but like for real, just being mean to him. She's not trying to date him harder. Uh and then Ren calls, and she's like, Hey, I haven't heard from you for like a couple days. Is every are we okay? And he's like, Yeah, I've just been like busy or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:49

Yeah, you have.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:51

He's like, you also called me like a bunch of times over the past few days. Did you like need something?

SPEAKER_05 1:37:58

That's a powerful move.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:59

Right. As the adult man in this relationship, yeah, for sure. Uh and Spencer's like, uh, nah, nah. I just like wanted to check if uh like we were you like hadn't heard from you. I just wanted to see if everything was okay. And he's like, how is it at your dance? And she's like, Yeah, I'm pretty much just here with my bitch pussy loser, no dick beta cuck date. And then I'm also thinking about how much I'd rather be um, you know, hanging out with you having sex and stuff. Um and then obviously Andrew is right there. Uh and her description of like turning around to see Andrew right there, hear her describe him as like a loser.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:42

Like a beta cuck loser, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:43

Yeah. Uh she describes him. This is a quote from the book, looking forlorn and useless. Oh my god! Devastating. That's horrible! Why the fuck would you say that?

SPEAKER_04 1:38:57

Why are you so mean to him?

SPEAKER_03 1:38:59

Um, so he like flees into the night, presumably to kill himself.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:03

Um and at that point, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:06

And then she she looks up and she notices that Emily is like talking to Toby Kavanaugh.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:14

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:18

Um Spencer like calls everybody. She like starts calling their entire friend group. Um she's like, everybody needs to like come here now. I she like runs into the bathroom at one point to like collect Hannah. For like, I'm going to describe what everybody else is doing, but know that for this time, Spencer is trying to assemble the Avengers. Hannah's at the dance now, and she keeps asking people, she's like, Where's Sean, by the way? Uh and everyone's like, uh, don't worry, we've already been discoursing, and we as we as the Foxy community have conveniently split down the line on if we're Team Hannah or Team Sean. Um, we've already been talking about it, we've already decided how we all feel about it, and she's like, I don't know what you're talking about. And then they point, they're like, oh, there she is, and she turns, and Sean is there, and he's like grab he's like kissing on a girl, and he's like grabbing her butt cheeks, and she's grabbing his butt cheeks. Um, and then she like runs over there and it's Arya.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:28

That bitch! Aria, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:33

Arya kind of gets herself in these situations, and it's hard to feel bad for her.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:40

Because she just keeps doing this shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:41

She keeps doing this nonsense.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:43

Girl, please stop.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:46

Hannah runs over there. Uh, she confronts them, and she's like, Oh my god, I can't believe you guys are doing this. Uh, two traitors, uh, two betrayers.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:56

Uh yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:57

And Sean's like, hold on, bitch. We're not dating. I broke up with you last weekend when you crashed my car, and Hannah's like, well, we have a date later this week. And Sean's like, well, no, no, no, no, no. That's as friends, to like to like fix our personal relationship, but I don't want to keep dating you. I kind of want to see where this goes with my new bitch, Aria.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:26

And Arya's just sitting there the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:28

Um and then uh yeah, Arya's like standing right there. She keeps just being like, Oh my god, Hannah, I'm so sorry. And you're like, shut up.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:36

No, you're not.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:37

Uh and then Hannah turns to Arya and she's like, Okay, well, I have information for you. Number one, he's a virgin and he goes to virgin club. And uh Arya's like, well, actually he told me he's gonna stop going there because like we've been kind of hanging out. And Hannah's like, okay, well, also he's gay and also homosexual.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:59

And Emily's in the corner, like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 1:42:03

Yeah, Emily hears this on her on her gay dark. She's like, hey, what the hell?

SPEAKER_05 1:42:07

I thought that was about me.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:09

Yeah. Um, and then Hannah uh goes to the bathroom to um have a little have a little uh throw-up.

unknown 1:42:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:18

I and then she gets there, and I don't know how A did this, but there's a taunting message in the mirror, black swan style.

SPEAKER_05 1:42:27

Um It's just impressive at this point in time.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:30

Right? Uh the the message in the mirror doesn't matter because I don't I didn't write down what it is, so I assume it was stupid. It's like uh uh everybody leaves you and also you throw up. Um you have like an eating disorder, um, lol. Uh but what matters from this moment, and Santa's like, hang on a minute, before I throw up, I need to like clock in now that I'm having a thought, and that thought is that if A is writing bitchy messages to me in the bathroom mirror, black swan style, right? Then A is at this dance, right this moment.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:07

Girl, I'm so proud of you. That's incredible, honestly. Okay, let's talk about it. So when you're having like an emotional meltdown like that, you don't really think logically, because that's why you'd be having the emotional meltdown.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:19

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:20

So the fact that she was able to stop and go, wait a minute, that's honestly kind of incredible.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:26

It's honestly kind of incredible.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:28

Good for her. That was that took a lot of thought processing and a lot of power.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:34

Um Spencer runs in there and she's like Arya's runs in there as well. Everybody runs into the bathroom to like talk to Hannah and uh be like, oh, like you're throwing up.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:49

Um, what's it it's not your business.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:52

Uh they're they're all like, oh, like we Arya's there to be like, I'm sorry, Spencer's there to be like we need to like go rescue Emily. She's here with Toby and Toby's bad. And so um they uh uh uh she like grabs them and they run out. Uh Emily leaves with Toby. Um she comes out to him, she's like, by the way, uh thank by the way, thank you for the kiss from earlier, from like two days ago. Uh I'm gay. Uh and uh Toby is like, well, it's time for me to act crazy. It's time for me to have a crazy response. Um he's he like starts like pulling at his hair. He's having like a he's having a little meltdown.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:43

Toby Toby has trauma too. We can't.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:45

Um He's like, I can't he's like you're he's like, well, Emily, I think you're so nice, and I can't believe you'd be friends with a bitch like Alison DiLaurentis. Um Okay. Uh Emily is like, we knew that Allie had a secret older BF. Was that you? And Toby's like, oh my god, that's disgusting. Oh my god. I would never be her sexy older BF. Um, I thought she was gross and she was awful. How dare you say something like that?

SPEAKER_05 1:45:20

Deadass.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:21

Um he's like, I'm glad she's dead.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:23

Okay, a little strong, but we'll take it.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:26

Um, Emily gets out of the car and uh runs into the forest uh huh on her way to like get home.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:33

Um she like gets home and she's like, oh, like this is awesome. Um she she uh gets uh she like gets changed, she has time to do that, and then Toby is at her door and he's like, please let me in. I need to talk to you, I need to explain myself, and uh Emily is like we all know what you did to her, Toby, but she means Allie. She's like, We we know what you did to her, and then Toby, uh, it's like thunderstorming by this point, and Toby flees into the night.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:09

Poor Toby.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:10

Poor Toby indeed.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:12

Toby didn't deserve all the shit he was getting from everyone. Toby really get shit on.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:20

Uh Hannah ends up back in Philadelphia, and her dad is real man, uh, cause she left, and Kate didn't cover for her. And in fact, Kate was like, uh, Hannah sold me Vikes and perks because she's a bitch. It turns out she's a duplicitous bitch.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:37

I hate duplicitous bitches.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:39

Don't we all, dude? Uh and then Hannah's mom shows up because Hannah's dad called her mom, and her mom shows up to be like, I can't believe you. You're such a duplicitous little bitch, Hannah. I hate you. And Hannah's like, okay, well, mom had sex with a police officer, and that's why uh I didn't that that's why nobody pressed charges against me, was because mom got made it go away sexually, and Hannah's mom is like, Oh my god, I can't believe you would say that to my ex-husband.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:12

That is kind of insane.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:13

Why are you like You don't air my shit outright in front of my ex.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:20

It's rude. Girl, it's rude. You're rude.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:23

Um, she goes home, the aforementioned cop is there. He's like, Oh great. He's like wearing a towel, he's like, What's up? I've been having sex with your mom. And Hannah's like, actually, I do have something actually it's good that you're here. I do have something to say to you. I think the per you're investigating, you're part of the investigation for who murdered Alison DeLorantis, and I think it might have been Toby Kavanaugh, and this cop is like, oh nah, don't worry about him. Uh, we actually checked him out and he has an airtight alibi.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:57

The cop fucking in the show has made a much bigger deal that it sounds like it's made here. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_03 1:48:02

Yeah, he's kind he type he kind of just becomes like her BF.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:07

In the book, it is like very explicit that like uh it it's like exploitative. Her mom like is trying to get out of it, but she like doesn't know how. But like in this, Hannah's mom does just like basically start dating this cop.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:22

Yeah, I the politics of the book compared to the show is a little funky sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:29

You can definitely tell that the books are written in the mid-2000s and the show comes out in 2011.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:36

Yeah, it feels different.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. There's definitely like some uh you can definitely tell that the books start coming out during George Bush's presidency, and the show starts coming out during the Obama presidency. There's like a real vibe shift.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:55

Yeah, it doesn't feel awesome.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:00

Uh Arya wakes up the next morning and realizes that in the uh all the excitement, she forgot to tell her mom about her father's affair by her midnight deadline.

SPEAKER_06 1:49:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:14

Um she comes downstairs, her mom is wine drunk.

SPEAKER_05 1:49:19

Good for her.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:20

It's like I mean, Arya slept in. It's like 11 a.m. now. Uh her mom is wine drunk, and she's like moving a bunch of stuff from the like upstairs where all the bedrooms are, like into the living room. And Arya's like, oh mom, like what's going on? And the mom is like, Yeah, I'd bet you'd like to know what's going on, wouldn't you? Uh and she's like, I got this note that my husband is goofy style in love with a 23 year old, uh, and that you've known for like four years. Um so I'm kicking him out, and also I'm pretty upset with you. Um, which I I like generally understand the emotionality. Behind this. Um, but I do think it's unfair to be mad at your like 16-year-old daughter.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:07

I agree. I think that's insane. But uh if you gotta be mad at the husband. Also, I feel like, and maybe it's the time this was written during the relationship between the moms and the kids is fucked.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:22

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:23

It's super unhealthy. Yes, yes, it's it's the moms really leaning hard on their daughters and going, Why aren't you like taking care of me? And it's like, I don't know if they're supposed to do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:33

Uh, Spencer goes home and she tries to talk to Ren. She like tries to call him on the phone, and Ren picks up, and again he sounds like mad disinterested, and she's like, Hey, what's going on? And he's like, I'm so I think we're in like two different places right now. And I guess I just thought you were more mature.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:53

Amazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:54

And I don't think we should do this anymore. And then he breaks up and then he hangs up.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:57

Amazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:59

Melissa comes in and is like, Oh, hey Spencer, like, wow, how is the dance? And Spencer's like, it was fine. And Melissa's like, by the way, I saw Ren. Um, and then she like turns and like kind of pulls her shirt down a little bit, and she has a hickey in the same place Spencer did.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:19

Um, are you bra One second, sorry, I'm processing. Hmm. Bragging about sloppy seconds from your sister.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:27

From your teen sister.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:28

I don't know if it's giving.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:30

It's not, it's giving truly nothing. This part isn't. Then she's like, also, I was with him last night, and I saw you called him like 12 times like a loser, and he turns out he loves adult pussy. Um duh.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:45

Girl, I hope.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:46

I you would hope.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:47

Yeah, please love adult pussy instead of child pussy.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:51

And she's like, uh, and you know what the worst part is, Spencer? I didn't it wasn't really giving. It didn't really give me the feelings I wanted it to give. And so I don't think I'll ever see Ren again. Um, but based on what I just overheard uh from your phone call, I'm guessing neither will you.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:13

Okay, but like. So, okay, let's talk about it. Yes. It's it's messy to go after your sister's sloppy seconds. For sure. Clearly, she's doing it for the wrong reasons.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:26

It it is definitely like a wrong reason's right action.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:30

Exactly, right? Like on the other side, it's like, but this is technically a good thing she did.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:35

Yeah, this is uh this is objectively a good thing that you are no longer getting groomed.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:39

Objectively, this is awesome. However, the way we got here is a little fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:45

Um all of them hear uh uh Spencer hears a bunch of sirens.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:53

Um, everybody starts hearing these sirens, they all start converging on Emily's house.

unknown 1:52:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:00

Everyone's coming, they're everyone's like, oh my god, do you know what's going on? I don't know what's going on, do you know what's going on? No, I don't know what's going on, do you know what's going on? Nobody knows what's happening right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:10

While they're converged, Spencer reveals a much more comprehensive version of the Jenna thing. They kind of like cobble their details together, but Spencer definitely has the most, which was that the reason that Toby took the fall is because even though Toby saw Allison burn down the treehouse, Allie threatened to reveal his secret, and Toby decides to just like based on she he she Allie like implies like I know what you did, I s you know what I saw, and Toby just automatically confesses. Um and it comes out that Toby what Allie saw was Toby having sex with Jenna, right, his stepsister, and the implication from the way Allie described it to Spencer was that Jenna wasn't into it.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:08

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:08

It it did not seem like a consensual act. Um and it turns out that all of the police cars and ambulances and whatnot, they're not here for Emily. They're here for Toby, who during the night has OD'd on pills.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:29

Toby. Were they the Vikes?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:33

No, no, no, no, no. Okay, well, at least. That would be crazy.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:36

I would love for it to be that.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:37

That would be nuts.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:38

Chekhov's Chekhov's Vikes.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:40

Chekhov's Vikes. Um, Jenna shows up uh blindly uh and is like, oh, by the way, uh he left a letter. I'm told that it's for you. I obviously can't read it because I'm blind due to frankly somebody's actions.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:56

Um pointing any fingers here.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:59

Um and she gives Emily the letter from Toby, uh, in which he says that he wishes he were different, but what he did to Jenna was the biggest mistake, and it will never stop following him.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:13

Um he's talking about the sex stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:20

Yeah, he's talking about the implied sexual assault of his stepsister.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:26

Right. So spoiler show. Uh it's it turns out that Jenna's manipulating Toby.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:33

Yeah, in the show it's it's the other I don't know if this will get like a turnaround of the. That would be crazy if it did happen in the book at this point. Where uh but in the yeah, in the show it's Jenna getting Toby to uh uh like have sex with her because she's like manipulating him. So that's what I wanted to ask is does it match the same thing in I think it will end up being that b because it would frankly at this point it would be crazy if it didn't, because Toby gets like very lovingly described throughout this book. Um like like Spencer's like nervous around him, Hannah doesn't really want to be around him, but like his his relationship with Emily is like very kind and good natured. He gets he gets like really uh favorable descriptions throughout the book. I do think it would be nuts.

SPEAKER_05 1:56:33

They're like he's so sweet but also a rapist.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:35

Yeah, he's sweet, but also kind of a rapist. Um I do also kind of love the implied timeline here where they all look outside, he's outside the window, they chase him across the street, he runs up into his treehouse where his stepsister is, I guess, waiting, and then he's like, Okay, um, you have to fuck me now. Right this instant.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:02

You don't want this, and you have to.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:06

How did he do that? I guess is my question. What is the timeline here? In as few details as possible.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:15

Yeah, please don't upset anyone here.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:17

By the way, Spencer tells them in kind of a lot of detail what Ali saw, like sexually. She's like, okay, so like first he like slipped off her bra, and I was like, yeah, I don't want to read this.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:31

Um interesting that you don't want to weed about. I thought you loved a teen sex bunker.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:38

Oh, interesting. I don't love this. Um and then the book ends with our four girls talking about how manipulative and kind of bitchy Allie was. Um, and then Emily goes like, okay, but like she manipulated us because she cared.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:57

No. Lie. Try again.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:00

Well, because the way Emily remembers the Jenna thing is that like Allie took her aside and she was like extra like, hey, sweet, hey, sweet baby girl, and she was like caressing her hair, and she's like, Mama's gonna take care of this, okay, Emily? Don't worry, don't worry, you little gay ass about this one.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:15

Not your gay ass.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:17

Um which by the way, I'm saying to everybody, it should also be mentioned that Allie Ali's taunting of Emily being gay uh is because Allie kissed her in like during sixth grade and they like had like a sixth grade make make out sesh, and then Allie was like, that's a little gay. That's kind of gay, dude. Do you think that is where the shitty final season of Where they where the the last season of uh Pretty Little Liars the Show is. Yeah, yeah. Where they're like in a relationship. Almost for sure that's where this comes from. Yeah, because I And she's yeah, and like Alison is like a a domestic housewife now.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost definitely that's where this comes from.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:03

Amazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:03

Um, anyway, and then they all get a text, and the text says, quote, don't get too comfortable. It's not over until I say it's over. A. Alright. Are you gonna Did you kill Toby? Is that the implication here? How did you get him to take all the pills? The books have kind of the same problem the show has, where it makes you wonder, like, how about a lot of stuff, and it just never gets explained.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:40

Yeah. But hey, you know what? I will give this one way more plot than the first one.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:46

This one definitely has.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:48

The first one was nothing.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:50

Oh, the first the first one was was extremely nothing. It was just setting up like, do you want to read the rest of this book series? And you're like, I guess. And so, um it it definitely also has like there are several chapters where because Sarah Shepard is going into in this, like, um she's going like Hannah, Emily, Aria Spencer, Hannah, Emily, Aria Spencer, like chapter-wise, like for whose like POV it is. Um, but like some of them just like don't have stuff going on right now in like the chronology. And so like rather than just like skip ahead to be like, oh okay, and like Arya's doing her own thing right now, but not like this instant, like we're just gonna skip her right to Spencer, who has a lot going on in this book. Um so it'll just be a chapter where it's like also Arya's like thinking about stuff for like four pages, and then we're back to Benser. How did you feel about this one? Um It's like medium less mean spirited about Hannah's eating disorder.

SPEAKER_05 2:01:03

Okay, I'll I mean we can take it. That's I mean, that's better than what we were working with before.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:08

Not to the quite the same extent. There's a scene, uh, I forgot to mention it, um, there's a bit where one of the rival hot girls that Hannah admitted her eating disorder to approaches her at Foxy and is like, hey, there's like places you can get help. There there's like people you can talk to. And Hannah just like straight up tells this girl to fuck off.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:31

That's mean. Don't say that.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:32

Right?

SPEAKER_04 2:01:33

It's like that's like the nicest trying to help you, you stupid bitch.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:36

That's like the nicest thing anybody could say to you in this instant. Um it's it's um it's kind of a strange book to read.

SPEAKER_05 2:01:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:48

In like a lot of ways, it it's weird. In a like I said, in a lot of ways, that like the show is kind of strange to watch. Um but I think also with the show there's we talked about in the difference between uh a man called Ova and a man called Otto, that like within a book there's like a certain level of abstraction because uh like you can't see, like you can't see into his garage and you can't see all the like plastic tubing with tape on it. Um in this book it's kind of the other way around because in the show you don't get all the characters' inner monologues, so you don't get all the bits where Arya is like, ooh, like should I date Sean or should I date Ezra? And you're like, Ezra's an adult man, you need to date Sean. Or like all the scenes where like Hannah like flounders on herself and and like there I cut all of them out because they're very upsetting, but there's like a lot of bits in this book where Hannah will like eat like uh uh two bags of hot Cheetos and then purge.

SPEAKER_05 2:03:04

Okay, I'm gonna ask something. How descriptive is the purging? Pretty does it give you like a description on how to in that sense?

SPEAKER_03 2:03:14

I mean, like, I don't think it gives like a description on how to, other than like she's I mean, you know, she's like putting her finger in her throat. Um it it it is also it is very descriptive on like what does like the vomit look like and her emotional state. It's very like I said, it's like a little less mean-spirited, uh which uh makes it more interesting to me that it is less less mean-spirited because I think it's like kind of interesting. I I kind of still think that it doesn't in a book like this geared towards sp explicitly teen girls, this isn't for me. This isn't for you as an adult woman, this is a book for teen girls. It I I I it kind of gives like a neutral on the purging.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:06

Um you know, and then like this note at the end where uh like someone is like, hey, like the you can get help, and Hannah's like, get the fuck away from me. Feels very strange to me as a decision.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:21

I mean This author doesn't seem to like her characters.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:27

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:28

So in a way it makes sense in that way that like I'm very consistent. Yeah, fuck this bitch.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:32

I mean, like, also like the the grooming is of course, I d I don't like it. I think in the show it's like much worse because in the show the sh the show is like, yeah, like these relationships with adult men are beautiful and they're endgame.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:49

Yeah, they're romanticized and they're like They're romantic.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:52

It's romantic to have an adult boyfriend when you're in junior year of high school.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:56

Is it romantic? No.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:59

No, it seems like it wouldn't be.

SPEAKER_05 2:05:01

Do you want to know something really cute and quirky about me?

SPEAKER_03 2:05:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:05:04

Before my first kiss, which was grooming, I nearly vommed so many times. I like to think now it was my body telling me it was something wrong. Um, but it might just be quirky, quirky girl anxiety.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:16

Maybe it was just quirky girl anxiety. Yeah, so I um I I think this book was better than the first one. But this book series is so strange to me. It's a long. And and like a yeah, and there's a lot. Um in and like I said, like a truly fascinating way. Um I I think it's interesting Sarah Shepherd's relationship to having a gay character is very fascinating to me because you know, like in the first book I mentioned, like having him having um Emily's mom be racist, and like that's what she opposes, rather than like the implied homophobia, felt like a hat on a hat to me. Yeah. Because like uh what she's she's racist, but like we're gonna find out she's what not homophobic. Like she's gonna be homophobic. This is just like so you can really drag out the homophobia. Um but it's one of these things where it's like interesting to me to have a gay character who defends herself from a corrective rape. I would prefer the corrective rape weren't in the book at all, to be honest. But like she's attacked, she defends herself, she like flees that situation, um she uh and then it it ends without her coming out. I don't know. I find it I find all of the decisions about the the Emily's uh gay story are uh interesting.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:53

When was gay marriage legalized?

SPEAKER_03 2:06:55

Uh 2014. Okay, so that was Obergafell.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:58

Well, girl, you know I wasn't paying attention to no Supreme Court laws.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:03

Okay, I think the best way to digest this is to go back in time to George W. Bush era America and just like live in that space, and then everything makes everything makes a lot more sense if you think of this as like, mmm, yeah, no, okay, I get it.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:19

Yeah, this it's very because like I don't want to call it progressive, because I don't think it's progressive, but it's more gay stuff textually, textually more gay stuff than other like children in YA media of the time. I mean like Harry Potter, like JK Rowling, this is like before she like was like, also, by the way, I'm like I have like extraordinarily awful politics. Because like, remember the joke about J.K. Rowling was that she would like after the fact come up with like uh di like implied sexual diversity within the books. Cause she did the thing where she was like, also, by the way, Dumbledore's gay.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:02

I think if you close your eyes, okay, and you go back to 2006 and you think about the world then at that time. I mean, we're watching Psyche right now. When did Psych come out?

SPEAKER_03 2:08:13

Uh oh six.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:16

Yeah, so like the same time period. Um The the gay storyline is not progressive, but I do not think it is It's not it's definitely not reactionary. It's not reactionary. They haven't killed Emily immediately.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:34

They haven't killed Maya immediately.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:36

Um, and it is what would be probably a very similar experience to what a gay girl at that time would have trying to come out or trying to grapple with that.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:46

Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:47

So we're gonna call it re Progressive of the Time. We're calling it fine. It's alright.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:58

Um But yeah, I uh I mean I'm I'm I'm gonna keep reading these for for this podcast.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:06

You're gonna read three at a time. There's too many of them to do one at a time.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:10

I don't know if I can.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:12

Do you want to guess how long the episode is?

SPEAKER_03 2:09:14

How long?

SPEAKER_05 2:09:15

Two hours and ten minutes.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:17

Is it really? No, it's not. Deadass. Jesus Christ. Uh I'm gonna keep reading these. Uh yeah, I guess I'll we'll I'll read the next one if the next one's kind of plot light. It's because this one, to be honest, is kind of plot light as well.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:31

Thank God I riff so hard or else we would have nothing at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:35

Um and uh Yeah, well, so maybe if the other the next one is plot light, I'll just like kind of like group like three of them into the same book like I did with um My Struggle. Um but yeah, I mean like these are I uh they're fun, I guess. They're they're fun in a way that I think that like if you're like an edgy teen teen girl, like this is for you.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:03

There's a reason the show is so popular.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:05

For sure. There's a reason the show is so popular. Um I mean like it the Sarah Shepard is like very she loves dropping like what brand like someone's clothes are or like their cell phone. Like this is extremely teen girl coded.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:21

Good for them.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:21

And good for them.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:23

Uh what cell phone are they using?

SPEAKER_03 2:10:25

Oh, someone has a sidekick.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:28

I always wanted a sidekick.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:29

Uh someone has a Nokia.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:31

Ew. We don't care.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:32

Uh someone ha I don't I don't remember all of them. Is a razor a Nokia?

SPEAKER_05 2:10:39

A razor is a Motorola.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:40

Yes. Uh someone has a razor. Um, but I mean, yeah, they're it it's like, you know, and then like someone will like be wearing like a particular brand of shoes popular amongst teen girls in the 2000s. Yeah, it's stuff like that. Like it's fun. This is four teen girls.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:57

I love that. That's awesome away.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:59

Yeah, I get it. It it it's very it is like I can imagine being a teen girl and being like, uh oh, oh yeah, I guess I'm kind of and also because like they slot into these like really easy archetypes, you can definitely, if you're like a teen girl of this time, be like, oh my god, I'm totally uh an Aria.

SPEAKER_05 2:11:20

This is the Sex in the City update for Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:24

This is yeah, if you're like too young to watch Sex in the City with your mom, this is for you're like, oh my god, oh my god, Cindy, you're being such a Spencer right now.

SPEAKER_05 2:11:35

No, stop! You don't do that. You're gonna embarrass us.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:40

You know that um Caleb Huron bit where he like um he's like I asked my fans on Instagram which sex in the city character I am, and it made me cry.

SPEAKER_00 2:11:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:51

Uh that did uh girls doing that in school.

SPEAKER_05 2:11:54

No. Yeah, it would be.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:58

Um, and that's pretty little liars too flawless. Too pretty, too liars flawless.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:06

If you were one of these girls, JC.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:10

You would be an Emily.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:11

I would be I'd be a gay. I'd be a gay girl.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:14

You'd be a gay girl. Well, yeah, she's like a swimmer, but like she's Aria.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:18

That's mean. Anyway. And that's pretty little liars too flawless. Have a good n y'all.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:25

Have a good y'all.